Recently, Blythe has discovered that she doesn’t have to do a damn thing I ask her to, if she doesn’t feel like it. Or anyway, she doesn’t have to do it willingly. Or quietly.
Car seats are for suckers! So are booster seats, bibs, baths, breakfasts, lunches, dinners, diapers, pants, shirts, pajamas, clean hands, clean hineys, socks, shoes (unless she decides it’s time to go), sitting on my lap, teeth brushing, nose wiping and any other thing that doesn’t interest her at the moment.
What I want to know is, which one of you clued her in? She was a perfectly compliant child until just a couple of weeks ago, and now it takes me half an hour just to get her dressed in the morning. Don’t mind those bruises on her knees, lady from CPS, that’s just where I have to pin her down with my elbow to get a diaper on. You try it, and see if an elbow doesn’t come into play.
The hardest part for me is that half the time, she’s laughing. Have you ever tried to keep a straight, stern face while a 17 month old is giggling up in your grill? It’s not so easy. Occasionally I lose control for a second and let loose a smile, which only serves to encourage her behavior. Letting your kid see a crack in your armor is a death sentence when trying to assert your (ever dwindling) authority.
Blythe has also starting biting and pinching when she doesn’t get her way (mostly with her sister, unfortunately), which leads to some alone time in her room, which leads to a meltdown of epic proportions. Oh freaking hell, the terrible twos came early.
Send lots of wine. I’m in for a long winter.
4 replies on “Free Will Sucks”
Yeah, the whole free will thing is really overrated. How long until they marry and get the hell out of the house?
Don’t they have some camp or something we can send them to? I’ll pay big bucks to have them returned well mannered, independent, and totally willing to sleep in.
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it doesn’t go away. They eventually learn to use it to make you cry and beg for mercy. THEN they laugh. Kids are sometimes way overrated, huh? LOL
Oh man. I remember when my twins hit that stage. I wanted to run from the house screaming.