Last night was rough. Alison was up twice, Blythe was up crying. I broke my “new” rule to not go to her at night (except when she’s sick) because for the first time, she was crying for “Da-Da” instead of just plain old crying.
My heart broke a little, thinking of her sitting in there crying for someone who wasn’t allowed to come. When I picked her up she groped me, asking for a “ba-ba”. It wasn’t there because, hello, girlfriend, we’re giving those things up.
And there’s no way I’m going back to the days nights when she would wake up every 3 or 4 hours wanting a bottle. It’s the whole reason the no-going-in rule is in place – Mommy likes sleep.
Blythe let me rock her, her head on my chest and her hands tucked up between us. Despite the fact that she is no longer hyperactive due to her corn allergy, she’s still not one to be cuddled. In those moments, I didn’t care if going in to her set us back for a few nights. I was holding my baby girl in my arms, and there was no other place either one of us wanted to be.
As we rocked in the quiet darkness, her soft hair tickling my chin, I thought about the fact that in a few short days, she will turn 18 months old. Where on earth has that time gone? So many days I robotically move from sunrise to sunset, that the details of our lives blur together.
Gone are the baby days. She is my last, and it gets harder and harder to deny that she is growing up.
Just before she drifted off to sleep in my arms, she whispered, “Shhhh! I sleepin'”.
I squeezed her a little tighter, my baby who is suddenly a little girl.
5 replies on “Shhh! I Sleepin’”
Sniffle. Don’t even go there. My daughter is 16 months and it’s shocking to me that she is a talking, running little girl now. My baby is gone.
My baby Charlotte is 11 months old today. She is also my last and I find myself heartbroken at how fast it seems to go. I am trying to savor all the little things, but time has a different idea. I guess from the moment they are born we are preparing for them to grow and leave.
Oh I had one of those moments recently, the sadness of the baby days leaving us. I feel your pain of the time slipping away.
I wrote about it here
http://fergiesims.blogspot.com/2008/10/bye-bye-baba.html
My “baby” is turning three in February. We still have some baby moments, but most of the time it is so far in the past. Your sweet words made me a little sad. And then, I look at the way we play with my boys, and I know there is nothing at all I would change. I love them every moment at every age.
That was so sweet, it brought tears to my eyes.