We live in the “second meth capital” of California, which you might think would be a source of embarrassment for me. I mean, if our neighbors just work a little harder we could be first, right?
And while there was a time that I considered renting a post office box in another town, just so I wouldn’t have to admit I lived here when giving out my address, I’ve come to embrace my community.
After all, what better ego boost than to always be the best looking person at your local corner store, just by having all your teeth? That, and my adult acne is nothing compared to the faces of meth.
Today I ran up to the store to pick up a couple of burritos (shut up, convenience store burritos are das bomb) and stood in line behind a woman who was very obviously a “tweaker”. I’m not totally schooled on the proper definitions of meth slang, (check with The Bloggess for that) but to me a tweaker is a meth addict who twitches non-stop. You’re welcome.
Anyway, I stood behind this lady as she tried to pour herself a fountain soda. And if you’ve never seen a tweaker pour herself a fountain soda, you’re really missing out on life. After spilling her drink several times, she turned around and flashed her gums at me in apology.
My reply? “It’s OK, I don’t mind waiting.”
In the end, she swapped out her 16 ounce cup for a 32 ounce, then filled it half full of a mixture of Pepsi, Dr. Pepper and Wild Cherry Pepsi. She then spent a full 2 minutes pressing and creasing the lid onto the top of the cup, “to prevent spills” she said. And then, on the way to pay, she dropped it mid-twitch.
Being the kind hearted, thoughtful person I am, I got her a new one. There’s nothing like a little neighborly love, even in the Second Meth Capital.
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20 replies on “The Meth Capital”
I should not be laughing as hard as I am. I should stop, but I can’t.
Hometown pride!! You are such a good citizen.
You are so nice! How can the rest of us compare?
I’ve been drinking half Diet Dr. Pepper / Half Strawberry Shasta for years. Clearly I’ve finally found my people.
Oh my. Oh. My. Cherry Pepsi??!!! YUMMERS! We don’t have cherry cola here in the c a n a d a. i lurv it!
I don’t know what I would do when faced with a really hard-core meth addict in a situation like that, but flipping through Faces of Meth does not help my anxiety about it.
You are too sweet, girl.
Also very funny. 😀
there’s a special place in heaven just for sweet people like you. for real.
I submit corner store doughnuts as the major score.
I have lived in Humboldt and San Bernardino Counties during my eventful little life. If not meth capitols, these places house the close cousins.
It always was an ego boost to live in those places. For if you merely have teeth and clean hair you are a princess like non other. If you choose to change out of your sweats before heading down town well, you are just all that and a bag of chips. Also, the lower IQs make for some interesting conversations.
Actually I think I’m beginning to understand my colorful language and lack of social grace…it’s all making sense now. When all you have to live up to are toothless Hanks and skinny, shivery Sallys well, what you get is me. Nice.
That Faces of Meth thing? FREAKED ME OUT!!! I saw something on Intervention about Meth Mountain, which apparently is very close to where my husband grew up. Glad he was completely unfamiliar with it.
Just so you know, everyone in OK claims their state has more meth than anywhere else in the US. I told them they need to visit your town.
Very kind of you to help you drug addicted neighbors. And very kind of you to share your funny story with us.
You’re so cute.
And WHEN I come visit you, we’re totally going to get burrito’s. :0)
Hi all. None are so busy as the fool and knave.
I am from Vatican and too poorly know English, please tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “Find and compare top local airline tickets listings here.”
With respect :o, Ashley.
Yeah, even in the Second Meth Capital you can find nice people with good intention. I am glad you like your community now, would you move to another location if you had the opportunity?
When trying to loose weight do you just count calories and eat both junk and healthy food or you strictly have to eat only healthy food?
Ha ha ha. I really cracked up when you wrote “she dropped it mid-twitch”. Very funny I hope you have more of the same.
Which is the first meth capital of California? I thought California has a marijuana issue, but it looks like meth is a serious problem as well.
Thanks for share good comment
Nice information keep it up