What a Day

*Oops, I forgot to publish this on Tuesday.  See?  What a day.*

Three day weekends are great and all, but if Tuesday mornings end up being like this, I’d rather just skip the holiday, thank you very much.

Warning!  Bitch session begins in 3…2…1:

Last night I had a little crying bout, probably because I *ahem* went off my meds without permission and felt the need to keep Jeremy up until midnight talking about my emotional issues.  He was great about it, truly.  And when he started snoring I stopped talking.  Eventually.

This morning my alarm *somehow* got shut off and I slept, all cozy and warm, until 15 minutes after the kids were supposed to be up.  Why is it they’re up at 5 am on Saturday, but they sleep in on weekdays when I need them to get me out of bed on time? 

I put in a movie and threw food at them so that I could hop in the shower.  Of course I had to shave because it’s a teaching day for me, which means a skirt.  And no, I won’t go hairy just because they’re preschoolers.  They have a knack for not only noticing things like hairy legs and armpits, but also for asking questions about them. 

Imagine this: “Hey Teacha?  Why you legs got prickles?  My mommy doesn’t got those, but my daddy does.  Teacha, are you a boy?”  Only 20 times and with a lot more snot.

Finally washed and shaved, I was getting dressed when Alison announced that Blythe pooped.  She’s potty trained, so I wasn’t too worried until Blythe came in with her little sad face and said, “I had uh assident, mommy” and pointed at the poop all down her leg.

Clean clean clean… wipe wipe wipe. 

And where did she poop?  On the floor of her room, naturally.  Glance at the clock.  Holy crap, cleancleanclean-wipewipewipe.

Alison wanted her hair pink today, so I coated her ponytail with that spray on stuff for Halloween, because I am just the coolest mom on the planet. Of course once we arrived at school, Alison realized other kids were going to *gasp* notice!  And talk to her!  Because she had pink hair! 

So I had to clean it off, and it’s not like we were early or even on time at that point.

I arrived at work only a couple of minutes late, and only a little bedraggled, and ready to face the day.  Until now I’ve somehow avoided having to take the entire 2 year old class to the bathroom for a potty break, but, hey! today was as good a day as any to break me in.  

Let me just say, dealing with my own kids’ poop is one thing – but other kids?  I seriously had a hard time not gagging.  Multiple wet pants, lots of hand washing, and I accidentally left one kid behind when we went back to class.

All three of my classes today were out of freaking control.  What is it about 3 day weekends that makes kids act like complete maniacs? 

Hmmmm.  Maybe it’s because their mom put on a movie and threw random food at them this morning, so that she could take a shower….