A Child is visiting.
We play outside and I watch, carefully.
My girls are joyful as they show her what happens when they step near the big tree with the hole in the middle. Baby birds chirp at the slightest sound, hoping for their mama bearing scrumptious worms . My girls chirp back, faces tipped up and smiling widely, like baby birds themselves.
The day goes by and I am pleased, there have been no accidents that require bandages and ice packs for my little ones, and I relax while A Child is visiting.
I am pushing my girls on the swing, and I realize I have lost sight of her.
I find her at the big tree.
The smile that was forming on my lips is halted when she turns to face me and I see what she is doing. The hand that has been jabbing a long stick into the hole in the tree stops abruptly when our eyes meet.
My eyes are wide, my mouth agape. I am horrified, frozen solid and unable to speak while A Child is visiting.
I glance at my daughters, swinging innocently 10 feet away. They haven’t seen, they don’t know. For that I am grateful.
“What are you doing?” I say, with as much conviction a whisper will allow.
She doesn’t respond, only stares at me.
“Answer me,” I demand, ever so quietly so my girls won’t hear. “Why are you poking a stick in that hole?”
She shrugs, looks away.
“Look at the hole.”
She looks.
“There are baby chicks in that hole. Why did you poke them with a stick?” I ask.
She turns her face to look me right in the eyes. “I forgot they were there.” Another shrug.
I close my eyes and count to 10, breathing deeply.
When I open them again, she is gone, run to play on the swing set. She knows I won’t confront her if she is with my daughters.
The heaviness of her horrendous act forms a ball in my stomach.
When they come to get her, I will tell them, I think to myself, and demand counseling this time. I am done suggesting. Her behavior is getting out of hand. But the soft little voice of reason tells me they will explain it away, as they always do. She forgot, they will say, she was just a curious kid poking a stick in a hole. It could happen to anyone.
I shudder as my eyes fall to the stick she dropped to the ground as she ran away. A small clump of downy feathers, stuck to the pointed end, flutters gently in the mild breeze.
I listen to the sounds of the children’s laughter, and am subsequently deafened by the silence of the hole in the tree. I think of how the baby birds would chirp as we approached the tree, and wonder what she heard as she poked that stick in the hole.
I choke down the bile rising in my throat.
I will tell my girls that the birds flew away. And I will wrestle with the ball that lives in my stomach while A Child is visiting.
16 replies on “While A Child is Visiting”
i can’t believe what i just read. i just stopped when i realized, scared to continue reading. i’m not even sure what to think. i want to say more, but i don’t know what words to use.
I totally agree that this child needs help. The parents need a reality check don’t get it into their head then who knows how bad things could get down the road. I would be reluctant to ever have that child play with mine. They sound dangerous.
My god. That’s horrible. How old is the Child? Part of me wants to think that it’s ‘normal’ for young kids to squash bugs or whatever. But this seems… different, doesn’t it? I wouldn’t tell your kids, either. And let the parents know this Child is no longer welcome to visit.
I have no words of wisdom, only I know and I’ve been there. I know how you shrink away, horrified and angry, but there also must be something, please let there be something, going on inside her head, some need unmet, some search for definable limits? I hope so. And I hope you can convince them to get a little help.
Oh no. My heart sunk as I read further…
I wrote (lightheartedly) about something similar last week except it was to do with stomping bugs and spiders. Somehow not as sick-inducing as this. I’m so sorry. And while I agree with anymommy that there needs to be compassion – a realization that something is missing in this Child’s life perhaps – there also needs to be action. Not knowing the circumstances and what this Child means to your family, I’m in no position to say what that action should be. But your thought of counseling is sound. Those poor little birds…
Oh my goodness. That current of bile is rising in my own throat, reading this. I hope you say something, for your own peace of mind, even if it goes unheeded. That poor kid, I can only imagine what is going on in that head for her to think that is okay. That is not a good sign, though, not at all.
OMG, this makes me ill. This is so, so wrong. If that’s not a scream for help, I don’t know what is.
Horrifying. Simply horrifying. And since I know exactly the reception your stand will get, I feel for you beyond any words I can put here.
I’m so sorry. The silence from that hole is resoundingly deafening and I don’t envy you what you have to do next.
I know you feel like don’t have many options. But I think I would tell them she gets help & you’re included in it (updates & info from shrink) or she doesn’t come anymore.
I know you know, but she’s going to either do something awful in front of your girls or to your girls.
Be very specific in your requirements & put them in writing. If they don’t agree, you can’t allow her to influence your children anymore.
Seriously.
I joke about thinking birds are gross, but never in a gazillion years would I think that’s ok. I agree with the previous posters — tell her parents.
Gah, I feel ill.
Your courage could save her – you took the first steps by telling your truth, and I hope that your strength can carry you through that insistence for her to be helped, because it sounds like maybe you’re the only one willing to help her. What happened is awful… it makes me wonder what could have led A Child to such a dark place, for it is infrequent for children to find the way there alone. I mourn the babies, I celebrate your bravery, I encourage your love and compassion, and I pray for A Child. xo
I don’t know the relationship between your kids and this child, but I would keep your kids away from her. That is so horribly awful.
I’m angry and disgusted with her parents. They need to get their daughter help before she does something worse. They’re so busy burying their head in the sand that they can’t see their child has serious psychological issues. All they’re doing by ignoring the problem is sentencing their little girl to a very ugly future.
I hate to say this but it’s true, most serial killers admit to torturing and or killing animals as a child. I’m not saying that she will become a killer, but she needs help and her parents to see that she has some very real mental health issues. If she is able to kill defenseless chicks in such an intimate way what will she kill or do next? It chills me to the bone that she was able to kill them with no remorse what so ever. It’s only a matter of time before she starts torturing your girls. Family or not I would wash my hands of her if they don’t get her help.
She DOES need help. omg. The way you wrote this though..I was hanging on every single word. But how sad. Did you tell the parents?
We have one of “those” girls in the neighborhood. My goal for the summer is to keep our girls away from her as much as possible. She hadn’t done anything like what you described, but that’s only because she hasn’t had the opportunity. She’s only 6, but it is clear she’s trouble. We all watch her carefully.
Wow. I had to read this twice because I wasn’t comprehending it! Putting my own horror aside, I had to think if any of my children (ages 10, 8, 4 1/2, and 3) would ever do such a thing…or even THINK of doing such a thing. I’d have to say no. And if they ever did, I would want to know immediately. That child needs some help. I hope her parents are paying attention…