Over the past month, some truly amazing people have offered to help my family find our way through the drama and trauma we’re dealing with.
It’s been a tremendous relief to me, knowing that I’ve got experienced navigators guiding me as I walk through what I can only begin to describe as unfamiliar territory.
Last week, one of them gave me an assignment that I’ve been struggling to complete.
The task? To spend some time creating three lists that will supposedly help me figure out how to move forward from here.
Sounds pretty good, since I’d rather not wander around in circles.
The first was to be a list of my priorities. They needed to be specific enough to be used as goals, but vague enough that they would still apply to my life in 10 years time.
So far, only three items have made this list… and you might be surprised at how long it took me to come up with them.
1. To help my kids be as healthy as possible in every way – physically, emotionally, mentally.
2. To actively educate myself and others on the effects of corn on the body.
3. To have healthy relationships wherein the people involved treat each other with as much respect and kindness as possible.
The second, and by far the easiest for me to complete, was a list of the things I know I absolutely don’t want.
Let me just tell you that this list is long. Very, very long. And specific. Apparently I really know what I don’t want.
The third and final list is still completely blank. I’m supposed to name the things that I know I definitely want.
If I had been asked to create this list 6 weeks ago, I think I could have quickly filled pages and pages with wants, desires, hopes and dreams.
But now? I’m at a complete loss.
What do I want, now that I can reach for the moon if I’m so inclined?
I’m not sure I know where to begin.
3 replies on “What a Girl Wants”
I can understand that; I often feel like I don’t really know what I want beyond the vague notion of “happiness.”
I hope you find some clarity & can complete your assignment. 🙂
I think knowing you want to be happy, want your girls to be happy, that’s a start. You’ll find your way, you’ll fill your list. It may take time. It is hard when your hopes and dreams have been squashed for so long to remember how to come up with them. I hope you find your voice, your dreams, your wants some day soon.
Girl, I feel you! There is nothing quite as exhilarating or intimidating as having options and choices. Hope and freedom are wonderful, scary things.