I take an awful lot of pictures of my kids while they’re sleeping. Looking back, 20 years from now, they might wonder if their entire childhoods were spent sprawled across their mattresses, limbs askew.
Given the amount of time I spend getting them to fall asleep each night, you might think that those photos are my trophies, my way of celebrating another successful bedtime battle where I won and they lost.
But no, I don’t think so. I think I’m trying to capture the way my heart feels when I’m awake and they’re asleep. It’s this mixture of love and pride and nostalgia. Of holding on and letting go, remembering what was and looking forward to what’s ahead. There they are, asleep and growing. Always growing. Up, up and away.
As each evening draws to a close, I plan to fall into bed as soon as they settle down for the night. But instead, my mind moves from the necessities of the day to other things. When the house is quiet and the kids are asleep, I find myself suddenly and inexplicably wide awake.
My mind fills with so many thoughts, but I can’t put them into words.
So I sit there in the dark and watch them sleep. I listen to their little girl breaths and watch their little girl chests rise and fall. I reach out and touch their smooth little girl cheeks, soft as a feather.
After a time, my mind quiets itself.
And finally, I sleep.
2 replies on “While They Sleep”
Thank goodness for those pictures. I’m sure you’ll be grateful for them when they’re older. Loved stopping by your blog!
Oh I so know how you feel. I do the same thing, half the time I don’t realize what I’m doing until I look at my photos for the month (which I’ve been lacking horribly at right now) and half of them are of the babies asleep. lol Fills your heart and over.