Welcome to the Anonymous Bitch Fest! I’ve got a guest post that talks about the horrors involved with family finding your blog, thus putting an end to the anonymous bitch fest your blog was supposed to be on a daily basis. That being said – I’d love to hear some bitching from the rest of you. You can sign your name if you wish, but either way – rip your clothes off and run naked through the crowd! Figuratively speaking, of course.
Even if YOU don’t feel better afterward, the rest of us will. So quit being selfish and comment!
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Naively, one of the reasons I started a blog was to bitch, anonymously. Sometimes it just helps to get it out, right?
The end, for me, came quickly. I had written a piece about a family event that I was pretty proud of and copied it to send to a couple of family members. Unknown to me, I left the link in the title and a computer-savvy family member (“CSFM” if you will,) clicked on it and “found” me.
Luckily everyone loved that piece, but I have come to hate that CSFM found me. This person and I don’t see eye to eye on just about anything. The election was horrible – many over-the-net arguments about this candidate or that issue. I am the recipient of emails linked to articles and videos that (primarily) I’ve seen and disagreed with.
CSFM is someone that is generally quite smart, but has turned into the internet and writing snob. I routinely get comments from CSFM about how I should be writing, or how often, or “look for ideas here!” Honestly, if someone else gave me the same advice it might be welcomed but since it comes from this particular someone it comes off as pompous, elitist, and assholish (totally a word, right?). CSFM thinks that theirs is the only opinion that matters.
Several years ago CSFM was diagnosed with a medical condition that is annoying, but not life threatening. It affects what we (as a larger family) can eat and serve when CSFM is around. This is not a life-threatening allergy, this person is not a child. Yet, when we all get together it is ALL OF OUR problem. Unfortunately, there are some other members of the family that completely bow to CSFM’s whims and play into the mentality of ‘me, me, me, me’. We are ‘forced’ to comply because woe is he/she that doesn’t bow to these needs. The wrath is truly horrible.
A few times over the last few years we have vacationed with this person, but last summer was the last time. My spouse and I have agreed to not vacation with CSFM/family anymore. The last time was wrought with food issues, mood swings, blatant disregard of our beliefs, and more. I refuse to put myself or my children in that situation any more.
Plus, when anyone tries to speak up about the elephant in the room we end up being the ones that are wrong, not CSFM. Figures. I have recently decided to ignore anything coming from this person-whether an email, blog comment, or otherwise, because I just really can’t handle it.
I really don’t want to feel this way. Life’s too short in many ways to allow someone so close to drop out of your life. But at what cost do you allow someone like CSFM to rule over all of your interactions? At what point do you say enough? For now, I have to say enough.
But I’m obviously not over it or I wouldn’t be writing anonymously, now, would I?
14 replies on “The Anonymous Bitch Fest”
I feel for you. No one unwelcome from my real life has found my blog, but navigating those types of draining relationships is a constant challenge for me.
OMG! I know exactly how that feels. I wish, I would have NEVER told any of my family about my blog.
And you know when enough is enough. Beacuse, you hit your peak and are doing something about it! You should be very proud! I am!!!
PS…assholish is a great word!
Kudos to you. CSFM should be ashamed!
Ug.
I suppose you can’t email them with a note that you really don’t want their feedback any longer? That it is not really a place you want your family loitering? Or block them?
It would probably create conflict but it sucks a duck that your space is no longer your own. :S
I TOTALLY feel your pain! The only good thing for me is that my personal CSFM finds himself TOO busy to bother with such a silly little thing as a blog. Only thing is you never know when they might POP in!
Hang in there! Great POST! and…with a child with severe food allergies I have to say we don’t even expect those we are with to make changes…WE make the adjustments. I say “GROW UP CSFM” and just between you and me…CSFM is jealous of your blogging success! just sayin’
ugh! that would totally harsh my blogging mellow! what if you started giving him a taste of his own medicine and critiqued their writing and offering them suggestions for ideas….especially those ideas that you approve of and they don’t! that’ll learn ’em!
That sounds like a nightmare. Sometimes, you can’t win for losing, so you just have to ignore him, like you have.
Thanks everyone! It at least feels good to get it off my chest, if you know what I mean.
Thanks Andrea!
It has taken years, but slowly and painstakingly have worked our way toward severely limiting contact with a certain extended family member. It’s a solution but it’s one that is difficult for me to stick to .. guilt feelings, self-doubt, worry that I will be blamed, etc. Still, life is better than those toxic hours of enduring their crap. And it does get easier. Lots easier. So here’s to you for self-emancipation! Stick with it.
I say:
1) Avoid this person when possible, and put up with them when it is for the greater good.
and
2)Nobody gets to tell you what you can write on your blog unless they are playing you to do so. NOBODY.
I’ve been thinking, you may want to check out a few of these sites for blog ideas…
😉
Reminds me of a family wedding I went to. The meal was roast beef. There was a veggie option as it was known there would be veggies present, which is fine, I have no problem with that, but the veggie opposite me left most of her meal because it had been cooked IN THE SAME KITCHEN as the meat.
IN THE SAME KITCHEN! That was her reason.
Talk about ungrateful fuddyduddyness.
I feel your pain and totally understand…I have been right where you are.
hang tough.
I’m also afraid of teachers and coaches finding my blog. I love other blogger to read and comment, but family and friends are dangerous!
It sucks that this person is in your space. I think it’s great therapy/fun to write anonymously about this stuff. All of my family on both sides read my blog – sometimes I consider that a huge mistake.
Interestingly enough, CSFM did it again yesterday on a post.
Sheesh.