I’m so grateful my husband wipes his own ass. Really.
Since I wipe my own, and both of my daughters’, I feel like all I do every day is wipe somebody. And speaking of that, does any one else’s 5 year old still demand to be wiped? ‘Cause somehow I thought I’d be down by one at this point. Instead, she needs to be wiped once with paper and once with a wipe. God forbid I tell her to do it herself!
All of that ass involvement leads to a whole lot of hand washing. I mean, do you EVER really feel clean when your hands touch ass that many times in one day? It makes me wonder how people with a dozen young kids get by. Maybe they just wear those surgical gloves at all times?
Me, I’ve always been a hand washer, even when mine was the only rear end I wiped. Since I’ve been a rancher though, and subsequently a mom, I’ve washed my hands until the fingerprints wore off. The FBI is not a fan of mine, having to do my fingerprints the old fashioned way in order for me to pass through Criminal Background Checks.
In the winter, my fingers crack open and bleed, and then I wash them some more, lest I contract some nasty disease through my open wounds. Even typing has become a bit of an issue, because while it’s painful at times to type with bloody stumps for fingers, it’s impossible to type with band aids on the tips. The typos are atrocious, so I just rip the band aids off, and worry about the blood on the keyboard later.
Today I’m typing with cuts on two middle fingers, one pointer finger and a thumb.
Let’s just hope no more fingers bust open today, shall we?
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8 replies on “I Never Thought I’d Say This, But”
Hey, how did you get your husband to wipe his own ass?
😉
Oh man. My hands are so terrible in the winter time thanks to all the ass wiping.
As far as my husband wiping his own ass, he does do that, but he’s practically a toddler in every other way.
Oh, I will rue the day I only have to wipe my own ass!
Are you talking shit again? 😉
Honestly, I consider myself extremely lucky that preschool potty trained my daughter and also taught her to wipe. Because if she knew there was an alternative, the Little Princess would totally be taking advantage…
Oh, I can SO relate…my 5 year old is the same way, and now she even wants the treats I’ve been giving my 2 year old as a reward for going potty!
We’re not even close to being out of diapers yet, because my 5 year old still wears one at night and my almost 3 year old has NO interest in using the potty. I’m composing a post now called “my kids will be wearing diapers to college”.
I live for the day that I only wipe my own ass. Of course, you just set that back years with this post. Five, really? I’ll still be wiping when they’re five?
question…does your daughter go to school yet? i can’t remember. if so she is probably wiping herself there. if she isn’t in school yet then she better learn before she goes…unless you’re homeschooling her. my advice (not that you asked for it…but i have been asked this question by quite a few people…) is to make her wipe and then don’t check her. tell her to wipe until she doesn’t see anything on the tissue. if you continue to check her she will think she isn’t capable of doing a good enough job and will ask for you to do it. you may have streaky underwear until she gets the hang of it, but they wash. this is experience talking…that and an early childhood education degree that’s been filed away since i stopped working in 1995!
sorry about the fingers…sounds painful!
My 5 year old also insists that I wipe his ass. Apparently I’m better at it. I should really work on doing it less well…