I have a confession to make: I’m a Quitter.
Growing up, I was a shy, easily embarrassed kid. Whenever a piano recital or gymnastics performance came up, I dropped out. This ingenious tactic worked great, for awhile. Then some extroverted adult would tell me I couldn’t join back up, in an effort to get me to just perform, already. Instead, I became an avid reader. Who needs sports or music when you can read by yourself in the corner of any room, unnoticed?
As I got older, it became my focus in life to not quit, ever. Determination can help a person through some tough times, but it occasionally makes me hold on to things (or relationships, or people) that aren’t working anymore. My fierce resolve to exclusively breastfeed Blythe got us through a stay in the ICU, biting, hyperactivity, food allergies and countless other setbacks. We persevered, because I refused to quit.
Here we are, almost 14 months later, and I’m riddled with guilt about deciding to hang up the old breast pump. Our pediatric allergist said that the longer Blythe receives egg/corn-free breast milk, the more likely it is that she’ll outgrow those allergies. But most importantly, the breast milk would do wonders to help heal her intestines, which were under attack for all those months while we tried to figure out what was “wrong” with her.
We’ve been egg-free for four months now, and corn-free for three. She hasn’t been sick once in three months. For a child who previously caught a bug if someone in an adjacent room even thought about sneezing, that is quite an accomplishment. If nothing else, I can say my stubborn determination helped her heal, even if I didn’t make it to her second birthday.
My body is telling me it’s time. As I finish a 45 minute pump session and find a measly 1 or 2 ounces, I hear, “It’s over, sister, can’t you take a hint? Please?” and that little voice is getting harder to ignore. Even milking cows need to be bred again every so often, to replenish their supply. Since that’s not an option for me, I’m going to embrace my inner shy child and just quit. Excuse me while I curl up in the corner with a good book.
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7 replies on “I’m a Quitter”
Well I don’t know the whole backstory, but it doesn’t sound like you’re a quitter…it’s just time.
My daughter weaned herself and that made me feel like I was doing something wrong. So I understand the guilt.
Don’t be hard on yourself. I know exactly what you mean about the pumping. I tried every old wives tale, herbal remedy, voodoo gimmick I could find to up my supply a year ago. No dice, nature determined it was time.
Everything happens for a reason and I’m sure all will go well with the transition.
You’re only a quitter as long as you think you’re a quitter. ‘Tude is everything!
I think choosing to stop breast-feeding is one of the hardest things to do as a mom. But sometimes you just have to listen to your body. Sometimes, the girls have just had enough.
Thanks for stopping by my place!
When it’s time, it’s time. When your girls are telling you they want to go on unemployment, let them go.
And there’s an upside to the End Of Nursing, at least for me: The Mister is supercalifragilisticexpialidociously happy to reclaim the girls as his own.
It will be okay.
Been there done that. Its SO hard when you know its time to give up breastfeeding. No matter the reason you are stopping know that you are NOT a quitter. YOu did the best you could for as long as you could. You made it to a year for Pete’s sake… You won the race girl… Dont let yourself fail to remember you made it to a very significant milestone!!
Oh hun. I of all people know how hard the e-diet and allergy issue is. UGH.
You are so strong and amazing.