The Goats

We have two main categories of goats on our ranch: Small Goats and Big Goats.  Or, Not Profitable and Profitable, if you will.

The Small Goats, which are actually Pygmy Goats, don’t make us any money.  Well, there was that one time we made $70 off of a little 4-H girl, but if you take into account the amount of money spent on them, we’re pretty much in the red.  So why would we keep a breed of animal around that costs us money, time, and resources and is pretty much good for absolutely nothing?  Because they look like this:

And really, if you want to show up Paris Hilton or some other socialite carrying around a tiny teacup dog, put a baby pygmy goat in your purse.  Better yet, go ahead and drop in two.  Because the only thing in the wide, wide world cuter than a baby pygmy goat?  Is two baby pygmy goats.  Although you might not find them quite as cute when they poop in your lipstick.

The second category of goats around here, as I mentioned, is Big Goats.  Are Big Goats?  Whatever.  We have two Big Goat breeds.

The Nubians (these are babies):
 

and the Boers (this one’s a buck, which means has balls)
(balls not pictured, sorry):


Nubians are known for being dairy goats, and Boers are known for being meat goats.  We don’t drink or eat goat, we just breed them, and feed them, and pet them, and castrate them because if you don’t, they stink, and then we sell them.  In case you were wondering, goat balls get banded which is a lot less messy than with immediate removal like the pigs.  Those things just shrivel up and fall off, I’m not. even. kidding.

We like the Big Goats because they birth easily.  We’ll just be wandering around and go, ‘Oh dang!  We’ve got three new Big Goats!’.  Whereas with the Little Goats, they tend to have more trouble and require some intervention.  More than once we’ve been up in the middle of the night, birthin’ some pygmy goats.  I’ve had my hand up a goat more times than I can count, and people?  I don’t even get paid for this.