Category: Parenting

For Alison’s first birthday, we (by we I mean myself and the people I forced to help me) pulled out all the stops.  Home-made everything: invitations, decorations, food, games.  Full dinner for all 50 people, plus appetizers and drinks.  My sister and best friend came over the night before and we decorated for hours, getting the whole thing just right.  It was an amazing event – not that Alison remembers much about it.  In fact, she was quite overwhelmed by the sheer number of people staring at her as they sang “Happy Birthday”.  Each subsequent birthday has been a bit less labor intensive, shall we say, but not by a whole lot.  I just love doing the whole thing, from A to Z!  It’s one of the ways I can let my creative juices flow.

Blythe, on the other hand, is turning one this very weekend.  I hand made her invitations, yes, but I employed a little help because I just don’t have that kind of time anymore.  Working, having two kids, and just life in general have taken up every minute of my day.  I had good intentions of creating this wonderful castle/tent made out of polka-dot sheets.  I imagined her and the other little kids playing fort in there, going in and out.  But, people?  Not only are those sheets not sewn into a castle, they aren’t even pinned.  Goodness knows, that is where the majority of the time is spent.  Those things are still in the package, that’s how far behind I am.  I also had big plans to bake her a special egg-free, corn-free birthday cake.  I ordered an allergy-friendly cook book back in April, and it is still not here.  Yesterday I searched the ‘net for a couple of recipes, so that I could have some time to get the ingredients, because do you think the local grocery store carries organic, vegan margarine?  No, it does not.  I found some of what I needed today, but there is no time to experiment.  What comes out of the oven on Sunday morning is what people will just have to eat.

In addition, we are leaving Friday afternoon for Jeremy’s arm wrestling tournament in Tahoe.  I’m looking forward to it, don’t get me wrong.  Especially because it means my husband will eat again, and will therefore have a rear end worth squeezing.  But the sheer number of things involved when packing for two young children – one of whom has food allergies – is enough to send a person over the edge.  I did manage to get Blythe a birthday gift, and some drinks for her party.  She’ll have a pinata, and some plates.  The rest?  Well, I’m just going to have to wing it.  It makes my heart palpitate a little, but what can a girl do?  All I can hope is that she, too, will have no recollection of her birthday and that the pictures taken will reflect the amount of love we have for her, rather than the lack of time I had to spend creating an extravagant event.

Suddenly Alison’s manners are nonexistent.  Her attitude rivals that of a pre-teen (or are they calling them “tweens” now?) and she listens about as well as a man watching the Super Bowl.  I hate that I have to speak sternly in order for her to respond to me.  Especially because I don’t want to be that kind of parent.  I know it works for plenty of people, but I have the guilt  so it doesn’t work for me. 

Over the weekend I took a moment to put myself in her shoes and come up with a solution that would motivate both of us.  So far, it seems to be working quite well!  She gets to reward me with smiley faces and punish me with frowney faces, just like I do for her.  Each week she works on a particular behavior that needs attention, but she can get faces for pretty much anything.  For every 6 smiley’s in a row, she gets a reward which we’ve chosen beforehand.  This week, we are both working on speaking nicely and listening.  She is having such a blast rewarding me and punishing me – and people, our charts are looking pretty good.