Categories
Life in general Marriage

The One

Jeremy and I dated for five years before we got married.  There were a lot of reasons behind the decision to wait.  One of them was a statement I made when we had been dating for about a year, that I didn’t want to get married until I was done with college.  Did I know it would take me a full seven years to get my degree?  No, I did not. 

But it worked out for the best.  Our relationship wasn’t ready until then.  Don’t get me wrong, we knew we loved each other.  We even knew we wanted to spend our lives together.  We just… weren’t ready for the big leagues. 

I have young women ask me fairly often how I knew Jeremy was “the one” for me.  It’s not an easy answer, but it starts with the way I felt about myself when I was around him, even before we started dating.  As our relationship progressed, it became a question of whether or not our core beliefs could not only survive together, but flourish. 

One thing I always try to point out is that people don’t change who they are.  Their behaviors can waiver, certainly, but even those change only with hard work or a major life event (or both).  Communication is so important.  Many people say that, because it’s true.  The way someone communicates (or doesn’t) can make or break a relationship.

Over the last ten years, we’ve grown our relationship to be what it is.  It didn’t happen over night, we worked to create a cohesive marriage.  We’ve found that we love each other more now than we did in those early times, more than when we got married, even, mainly because of our growth together. 

Does he still leave his stinky socks on the bathroom floor?  Occasionally.  But it doesn’t bother me, because he kisses my neck while I do the dishes.  He listens to what I have to say.  When I’m hormonal, he treats me with extra tenderness.  He enjoys my company and would rather be with me than hanging out in a bar.  But that’s now. 

Good relationships don’t just happen.  And even the best of them go through rough times.  It won’t always be smooth sailing, but you’ve got to work to get to those calm waters.  You must appreciate, enjoy, love each other every day, even when you’d rather not.

Categories
Life in general Parenting

Brutally Honest Monday: The Sibling Rivalry Edition

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When I found out via ultrasound that we were having a second girl, I actually cried.  I envisioned the fights and the hatred and all the ways it would be difficult for me to show each of my daughters that they are special, and have them believe me.

I promised myself I wouldn’t play favorites.  But then, as is often the case, it’s easier to do in theory than in practice.  I don’t play favorites with my love – that is unconditional.  But what I’ve come to realize is that each of them is going to go through phases of their lives where they are just more desirable to be around. 

Right now, at 14 months, Blythe is in the most amazing stage where her personality is blossoming.  Every day she emerges a little more, and I want to eat her up.  Toward the end of each day I think Alison might backhand me if I say, “Look!  Your sister is…” one more time.  I can’t help it, because she’s just so stinkin’ cute, and most of the time there’s no one else around to elbow.

It’s not that Blythe is my favorite child, per se.  It’s just that I’d rather watch her shake her booty or hear her say, “Tane-choo!” (thank you) than be bossed around by an eye-rolling four year old who has no patience.

Alison has many, many redeeming qualities.  More than I could possibly count.  But at this very moment in their lives, it’s Blythe’s turn.  I’m sure as Blythe learns how to throw temper tantrums and refuse to nap, Alison will step right back into the limelight.  

OK, so I admit, I have a favorite.  Today.  Tomorrow, it may change.  All I can hope is that they each get their fare share of time to shine.  And hey, Alison has a whole 3 1/2 years of being the constant favorite saved up.  That should count for something, right?

If you are a parent, do you feel the same way, or are you Even-Steven with all your kids?

* Edited to add:  Lest anyone think Alison is treated like the red-headed step child around here, let me just say there’s no way.  She’s my partner in crime, and I spend more time playing with her than doing anything else. *

Categories
Ranch Life

Love Is In the Air, Every Time You Come Around

I’m the mom of two girls.  They’ll never have a brother to tell them the ways of the world, to protect them from jerks who only want one thing.  And when they’re teenagers, who are they really going to listen to: their old fart mom and dad, or some smoove-talking guy with an itch in his pants?

But I’ve got a plan, people.  Here on the ranch, there’s always a bit of Love In The Air, shall we say, among the animals.  Today, Jeremy put the bull in with some of the cows, and I got the girls all lined up to watch the herd. 




Of course I didn’t narrate, because I want them to draw their own conclusions.  But I’ll go ahead and narrate here, because it’s more fun that way.

He’ll pay lots of attention to you, honey.  Call you beautiful (and you are!).



He’ll follow you around, swearing he’s in love.



You’ll feel like you’ve got a lot in common.




You’ll probably grab a bite to eat.  If he’s a gentleman, he’ll let you pick the spot.




He’ll wait patiently for you while you shop, or make a phone call.  On a side note, you might not want to show so much cleavage so early on in your relationship.  No, no, I’m not criticizing!  Just a suggestion.




If you accidentally poop on him, (or possibly throw up, depending on the circumstances), he’ll be very forgiving.  Maybe even act like it never happened, and discretely wipe it off when you’re not looking.




He’ll even hang out with your friends and act interested in what they have to say.




But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, he really only wants one thing.




Oh, and girls?  Babies are cute, but they change your life (and your cup size) forever.

Categories
Home and Garden Marriage

A Little Construction Project

There’s always a little something going on around here.  In fact, when we finish a project there are bets taken among our friends as to how much time will pass before we start the next one.  What can I say?  My husband has an active imagination, and the tools to carry out his ideas.


I love a good construction project – even though, with two kids around I don’t get to do much of the manual labor anymore.  The best part about working on projects with my husband is the view.  And can I just say to the two men who read my blog: I’m sorry.  Focus on the tools, OK, and be glad he didn’t have his shirt off.


There’s just something about my man wielding a power tool that gets me all clammy.


Don’t even get me started on the forearms, the calves…


the booty.


To top it all off, he cleans up his messes when he’s done with his work.


The broom might even be sexier than the power tool.  Well, no.  It’s not.  But close!


The “finished” product?  A saw-cut “tile” dining room floor, which I will be staining in weeks to come.  Stay tuned for that, it should be interesting!

Categories
Life in general The Style Section

Thrift Store Chic, Perhaps?

Once upon a time, there was a girl who struggled to infuse her style into her surroundings.  You might call her home decor eclectic bohemian, if you were being nice.  When she grew up, the girl who became a young woman married a handsome man, whose style could be called frugal western.  Together, they filled their home with two lifetimes worth of bargains. 

The young woman strongly desired a home that looked cohesive, yet she had no idea how to create such a space.  She studied home design books and watched endless hours of DIY programming.  She was pitied by many of her close friends, who were born with incredible taste.  They took her to fabulous home stores like Pottery Barn (go ahead and drool over the chair you see there – I certainly did) and Z Gallerie and Expo and even her beloved Target.  Finally, the young woman knew what she liked: a style that did not scream, “USED!”. 

The problem became clear at once: The Salvation Army did not seem to carry items from the likes of those stores.  Instead, it housed items from places that end in -Mart, and the woman refrained from purchasing them.  Slowly, she accumulated items that she hoped would transform her home into a place with a more beautiful aesthetic, while maintaining her own personal style.

Behold, readers, the one place in her home the woman is proud of having created:


The base of the table is made from an old Singer treadle sewing machine.  The top is cultured marble.  No one could have been prouder to discover this at a yard sale for a mere $25.  It inspires the woman every day to continue in her quest to surround herself in frugal loveliness.  Especially since this is but one small area of her home.

Come along as she creates, and critique at will.