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Blogging Business The Style Section

Cute Shoes

I’m totally lame and never got around to putting up my BlogHer buttons for the conference coming up in San Francisco this weekend.  Better late than never though, right?  So check out my new bling to your left.

While I was picking THAT one, I couldn’t help but notice THIS one:

I'm Wearing Cute Shoes at BlogHer 08 

What would the button be, without the shoes to prove it?


The BEST part is that they are the most comfortable shoes on the planet.  I’ve been wearing them for two days straight, and my feet have yet to complain, even once.  As soon as I get back, I’m going to Target and getting a pair in every color.


Excessive?  Maybe.  But according to me, one can never own too many pairs of cute, comfortable shoes!

* They’re called “Sydney” if you’re interested in getting a pair for yourself *

Categories
Allergies Life in general Motherhood and Pregnancy

Baby Girl

Sweet baby girl.  Here you are, snuggled against me as we rock in the dark.  Your hand gently strokes my wrist while I sing you a lullaby.  I watch as your silhouette rises and falls with every slow breath.  You yawn, so I give you one last squeeze.  I lightly kiss your cheek, lay you in your bed and cover you with your blanket.  “I love you, baby girl,” I whisper, “good night”.  As I close the door behind me, I hear you whisper back, “Ni-ni”.

How far we’ve come, baby girl.  There was a time, not so long ago, that you would not allow me to cuddle you.  Being still was not something you were capable of – suddenly, as if your insides could not rest.  Most nights, you would strain against me, your body rigid for long minutes at a time.  Your back would arch, your arms and legs would become as stiff as boards.  Sometimes, I could not hold your flailing body and would place you in the only safe place I could think of – your crib.  I would lie on the floor beside you, tears trickling down my face as you threw your tiny body against the sides.  On these, our worst nights, you would scream for hours before finally lying still.  Every few minutes your little legs would spasm and I worried, every time, that it was not over.  How I would search you for bruises the next day, sure you were hurt.

Nights were our worst times, baby girl.  All the smiles and laughter of the day were gone when darkness fell.  But now, thankfully, your body can rest.  Finally, I don’t go to bed feeling helpless to soothe you.  

You are well.


 

* I was truly inspired by this post by Anymommy *

** Blythe was suffering from an undiagnosed corn allergy.  If your baby/child has similar bouts of  hyperactivity, please go here for more information.  Blood tests as well as scratch tests can be done by a pediatric allergist, to determine if your child suffers from corn allergy. **

Categories
Ranch Life

One Step Closer

I didn’t want our resident loaner puppies to grow up with that whole twin stigma of people assuming they are the same, so I decided to give them names.  I named my favorite, “Lucy” and Alison named her favorite, “Bella”.  Now that I’m making a concerted effort to tell them apart, the differences in their personalities are quite striking.

Although she engages in some crazy-puppy behavior occasionally, Lucy enjoys a quiet visit with her humans over a wrestle with dogs.  She often sneaks through the slats in the fence to watch us swim in the pool, or lay her little chin over my foot.  A quick learner who aims to please, she has mastered several commands and automatically sits when she wants a treat or a pat.

On the other side of the spectrum, Bella enjoys the occasional belly rub from a human, but would rather hang with the dogs.  She has made it her goal in life to win Cage’s affection.  Yes, Cage.  The old bachelor dog who thinks young pups should be seen (from a distance, of course) and not heard.  Bella is ceaseless in her effort to coax him into playing with her.


“Hmmhmmhmm… don’t mind me.  Just chewing on this stick.”


“Maybe he won’t notice if I sneak a little closer.”


“C’mon, dude!  Don’t GO!  Just play with me… please?”


“How ’bout if I give you a kiss?”



She almost hit her mark, that time.  And look.  He didn’t run away!

Categories
Life in general Motherhood and Pregnancy

Not Just a Mommy

I was watching my new favorite show, Swingtown, this past week, (Hey – don’t judge.  It sucked me in like a train wreck and turned out to be quite thought-provoking) and was struck by Susan’s struggle to find, and express, her authentic self.  As women who have dedicated their lives to their families, how easy is it for us (her and I) to lose sight of the person we were, the person we always thought we would become?  And can the authentic self co-exist with the person our families and society expect us, need us to be? 

I sometimes struggle to define my identity.  I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend.  The common thread among those terms is that they identify who I am in regard to someone else.  Who am I when I stand alone, without being reflected by another person’s image?  When I need to present an image of my authentic self, as Susan on Swingtown was trying to do by picking a wallpaper pattern, I don’t know where to begin.

So often we are defined by what we do for a living.  It’s one of the first questions I hear, anytime I’m introduced to someone new.  It makes me cringe, because even if it’s a woman who says she wishes she could be “just” a stay at home mom, too, the conversation usually centers around children… and that’s it.  As if I am incapable of discussing anything besides poop and snot.  These days, I can say I work at home, as well, and I’m given a pat on the back for “helping” my husband with his business.  By being his “secretary”.  Am I the only person who finds that word offensive?

I remember when Jeremy and I first started dating and he would introduce me to his friends.  He was so proud that they all thought I was an intelligent, articulate woman they could enjoy having a conversation with.  These days, when we bump into people we used to know, they can give me a once-over and immediately decide that “How are the kids?” is a safe question to ask.  When did I become that person?  As soon as my first child was born, or when I decided that caring for my children would become my profession? 

Maybe my true self is a compilation of all the reflections I cast upon others, as I leave my mark on their lives.

Categories
Home and Garden Life in general

Where there’s Smoke, there’s Fire

If you’re from California, I don’t have to tell you that we’ve been hit with one of the worst Fire Seasons in our state’s history.  You already know all about it, since you’re probably hacking up a lung. 

During the previous fires, the sky was gray and dark here on the ranch, but the air was breathable.  This time, we’ve been warned to stay inside.  I’ve occasionally heard helicopters flying overhead this week.  But I can never see them.   I ventured out in the early morning a few days ago, and snapped these photos of our skyline.

This is our view to the East, where we normally see a mountain range in the distance.  Those are houses, about a half mile away. 



The sun looks like a dim bulb.  I don’t think we’re getting our money’s worth on the solar paneling, these days.




I stood there wondering if our Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, was having flashbacks to that movie he was in, Total Recall.  You know the scene, where he and his leading lady are exposed to the air on Mars and their eyes bug out?  Weeks of horrible air quality made me realize what my true worst fear is: that the air we breathe will become a commodity, just like on Total Recall (even if we aren’t on Mars).  People around here have been hospitalized for breathing this air – and as the environment continues to deteriorate, will our air become unfit for human consumption?  Why yes, I am an anal retentive worry-wart, why do you ask?

I do see improvement, though.  Today we played outside for the first time all week, and I caught a picture of the moon.



Now, would you look at that.  The sky resembles a shade of blue.  And the moon?  It isn’t red today.