Categories
Home and Garden Ranch Life

Gardening 101, a Tutorial

Good points to think about when picking a location for your garden: sun exposure, soil quality, access to water, drainage, competition from existing plants, and protection from foliage munching wildlife.

Every year, we’ve planted our garden in a different, “better” location, hoping to actually have some vegetables to harvest.  The first year we didn’t grow squash, we grew squat.  Come to find out, we planted right next to our septic tank’s leach field.  Not a good idea.  Each successive year, we’ve tried new spots with new fancy techniques, and still: nada, although sometimes: meh.

This year, Jeremy used his extra smart brain and super strong muscles to build a raised platform with lots of good garden dirt, complete with chicken and cow poo.  Next, he enclosed it with lattice to discourage wayward goats from eating our sproutlets and hung a leaky hose across the back fence, a “drip system” if you will. 

Once the space was ready, we had our very own seed-planting experts come in and do their thing.  It’s interesting, really, how many pumpkin seeds two four-year-olds will plant, if given the chance.  We weeded and poked and watered.  Before too long, we had some growth. 


Then we went on vacation, and came back to find this:


Which led to lots of these:


Does anyone know how to cook pumpkin?  Because all I know how to do with them is make jack-o-lanterns.  Not very tasty.

It’s a shame, too, that you can’t find cucumbers like ours in the grocery store. 

So, let’s review:

Pick a good spot.  Prepare the soil.  Plant the seeds.  Weed and water.  Go on vacation.  Harvest.  Eat salad!



Categories
Life in general Ranch Life

Instant Family, doggy-style

We’ve been dog-sitting Girly and her pups for our neighbor all weekend.  No, still not getting puppies, but that didn’t stop me from buying them $50 worth of toys to play with.  It was worth it though, because it’s hilarious to watch two clumsy puppies play tug-of-war and then pass out in a furry little heap.


The family member most effected by our guests is Cage, the chubby Labrador.  He doesn’t seem to mind Girly a whole lot, especially since she seems to be stroking his ego.  When I throw the ball, she pretends to go after it.  But it’s obvious to anyone watching that she’s totally letting Cage get the ball first.  Every now and then she even makes it a close game, but so far she’s let him win every time

It doesn’t hurt, either, that she’s nursing and has some huge knockers.  I don’t know if male dogs are into that, but if they’re anything like their human counterparts, he’s going to be letting her sleep in the big dog house any night now.  He’s already started sitting next to her at treat time, and we all know that’s how it starts.


However.  He’s not into her baggage  puppies.  They want to play with him like nobody’s business. 


When they get too close, he growls.  Don’t worry, it’s not a menacing, “I’m going to eat you” growl.  I like to think he’s  telling them, “Look.  I’m not your Dad.  Your dad is some deadbeat, and I’m not into an instant family.  I’m an old bachelor, OK?  Your Mom might be able to fit into my mansion of a dog house, but your cuteness doesn’t work on me.”  We’ll see how long he can resist.

Categories
Kids

And then she got married and had kids

My little girl is now a Preschool Graduate.  I don’t know when it happened, all this growing up and getting smarter stuff.  One day she was toddling around in diapers.  The next, she was wearing a cap and gown.




One moment, she was telling me I was her best friend, next to Ma’Maw.  Now, she has “real” best friends.  Just yesterday, she was taking her first steps across the living room, not walking over to accept her diploma.



And also, when did she start smiling with her mouth closed?  She has a beautiful, dazzling smile. 


But lately, she won’t show it when she knows a camera is on her.  She says it’s because of her “missing tooth”, which is actually a space caused by an aberrant frenum.  It never used to bother her.  These days, though, I get irritated when adults, who should really know better than to think a child would have a tooth right in the middle, ask me what happened to her tooth right in front of her.  It’s made her self conscious.  Soon enough, though, she’ll start losing those baby teeth and it will be time to clip that frenum.  It will probably be tomorrow.

Categories
Food Life in general Parenting

Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde

I woke up yesterday morning feeling like I’d been out partying hard all night.  I don’t have to describe the symptoms to you, do I?  You know what they are.  But the thing is, I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol.  Of course, I didn’t have a great night of sleep – but it wasn’t any worse than all the nights before it.  I was crabby all day, and Alison was getting on my nerves.  What the heck happened to the sunshine that normally radiates from every orifice of my body?  Let’s review.

Wednesday was date night, and I decided I was going to cheat -just a little- on the no corn/egg diet.  I figured I could pump and dump, now that my breast milk supply is going strong again.  I really have no idea how long it takes food to metabolize and get into my supply, but I figured a 12 hour window would probably do it. 

And anyway, like  said.  It was just a little cheat.  I shared a few bites of warm chocolate cake with ice cream and chocolate drizzle with Jeremy.  And it was so freaking good.  It more than made up for the hour and a half we spent trying to watch Love Guru afterward.  My critical review?  Half a star.  Don’t bother watching unless you toke up first, which I decided must be a requirement we didn’t know about.

But I’m pretty sure, after a careful replay of my attitude yesterday, that it was the dang CORN.  Or corn syrup, to be exact.  I didn’t realize until now, how much improved my attitude has been since I’ve been off the corn.  I thought it was because I’d been following Love and Logic and its great results were the reason I wasn’t a big crab cake.  But no, I have no patience for things like empathy and a smile when I’ve had corn syrup.  And I felt like crap.  Everything about my life seemed harder to handle yesterday, and I was having flashbacks to my Post Partum Depression. 

So, moral of the story?  I won’t be having High Fructose Corn Syrup, even after I’m done breast feeding.  It turns me into a monster.  I’m so glad I know that now, before I scarred my children for life!  And before my husband left me for someone without a dark side.

Categories
Kids Life in general

Go ahead. Try it.

My mom, while she is reserved and quiet most of the time, is an incredible practical joker.  It’s her brand of humor, and she is a master. 

When we were kids, we’d be tricked into trying foul things like baking cocoa and pure vanilla extract.  Although, I admit, she usually told us we wouldn’t like it, but how could we know when she was joking or telling the truth?  Because occasionally, when she told us we wouldn’t like something it was delicious.  Like raw coconut and fistfuls of sugar.  Which, according to her, would give us worms

She used to hide her co-worker’s stapler and quietly snicker as she heard her look for it.  One time she removed all  of the pencils from someone’s drawer.  Later, my mom would replace the items, but put them in a different place.  Anything to beat the 9-to-5 droll, I guess.

She used to say, “Hey!  You want a banana?  A banana sounds good!”  And whoever it was (her brother or one of us) would say, “Yes!  A banana!”  And then she’d laugh and say, “Ooooh, sorry.  We don’t have any.”

YES, it used to irritate the crap out of me.  But this morning?  I finally GOT IT.

I was dipping my tea bag into my mug of hot water at the breakfast table, and Blythe got it in her head that she just had to have the tea bag. 

“No,” I told her, “It’s not good.  You won’t like it.” 

Her reply?  “Me.  Me.” she said, as she did the sign for “gimme that”.

Then a smile crept over my face.  And I let her have the tea bag.  I was seriously looking forward to seeing her reaction when she sucked some of that pure, bitter tea into her mouth.  Unfortunately for me, she didn’t like the texture and threw it on the floor before it ever reached her lips. 

My mind went straight to the baking cocoa in the cabinet and I thought, “I wonder if I could get Alison to try that?”