Categories
Letters Life in general

For ME?

Dear Mail Lady Postal Carrier,

My oh my, I am SO flattered that you would drop two tickets for a Caribbean Cruise in my mail box!  I mean, a cruise for ME?  When you had so many other customers you could have handed them off to?  I hardly think my girl scout cookies are worth that, but I’m so touched that you would try and make it up to me in such a nice, thoughtful way.  Of course, I couldn’t keep them.  I think our neighbors, Wesley and Autumn, would miss their cruise tickets a little more than I missed my cookies.  We’d hate for you to get another reprimand from your supervisor, wouldn’t we?   But don’t worry, I dropped the tickets right in their box the next day, so they probably never even missed them.

I also really appreciate you delivering my mortgage statement to someone else.  I almost didn’t notice except that after I paid bills, there was a bit more money in the account than usual.  Again, what a thoughtful person you must be to try and get one of my neighbors to pay my mortgage for me.  They didn’t redirect it, so it’s very possible they are dumb nice enough to send in a payment.  Next time, just go ahead and deliver it to me though, OK? 

One last thing, and this might hurt a little.  I’ve been having the UPS guy deliver my packages.  Now, don’t get upset.  He’s just so nice about it, and comes to the door and everything.  Sometimes, if a package is heavy or I’m holding the baby, he even carries the package inside and sets it wherever I’d like.  I wanted you to hear it directly from me, so there aren’t any hard feelings.

I’ll be seeing you,
Andrea

Categories
Food Life in general

April = A Fresh Start

Since Blythe and I will be egg-free for April at least, and Jeremy is losing weight for his next arm-wrestling tournament (May 17th), I am just going to jump into April with a whole new way of eating.  I used to be so good about proper nutrition, and limiting the amount of sugar I consumed.  I even gave up sugar for awhile.  Even though it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, I felt SO GOOD once I got past the initial withdrawal stage.

Today is Tuesday, which is the day I create our menu and grocery list for the week.  So it’s the perfect opportunity for me to expand my horizons and give up the GOODS, so to speak.  Wish me luck, people, because I am NOT putting “pepsi” on my list.  I’m going to go back to decaf mint tea (iced) and hopefully that will do it for me. 

Oh April, hopefully you WILL come in like a lion and go out like a lamb.  At least as far as my cravings go!

Categories
Allergies Motherhood and Pregnancy

Allergies

Today Blythe and I visited the poop doctor   pediatric allergist and were given some very interesting information.  First of all, there is a very simple blood test (and by simple I mean, easy for them, gut wrenching for me) that will determine once and for all whether Blythe’s immunizations caused her poop allergy.  So tomorrow morning I will take her back to the house of torture hospital where they will again attempt to stick needles into her veins.  The blood will be tested for an allergy to LATEX, EGGS, and GELATIN.  Because apparently there is quite a bit of all that stuff in the vaccinations*.  Blythe and I both have to go on a no-egg diet for a MONTH, until her next appointment.  Good thing all the Easter eggs are GONE.  And too bad I ate most of them, because that means Blythe ate them.  Stinkin’ Easter Bunny.

If she shows no improvement and the blood tests are inconclusive, we’ll have to do the scratch test.  Which involves, apparently, sticking my baby girl 21 times in the back with little needles.  So, my current mental conversation with God goes something like, “Please let her be allergic to eggs.  No, rather, gelatin.  Oh wait, is there gelatin in a lot of stuff?  OK, how about Latex?  Kim’s allergic to Latex and she just can’t use condoms or play with balloons, so let’s go with LATEX.  OK, God?”  Hopefully he’s getting my memos.

*So raise your hand if you think it’s more than slightly irresponsible of the medical community to be injecting large quantities of a substance known to cause allergic reactions in babies at 2, 4, and 6 months of age?  Eggs are such a known allergen that you’re supposed to start them off with the tiniest little bit of yolk, and work your way up gradually to whites, and then up to larger quantities of whole eggs.  Yet they want to just jam a needle full of eggs into tiny babies?  Repeatedly, at two month intervals?  Maybe they should roll them around in a vat of peanut butter and honey, just to cover all the bases.

Categories
Entertainment Kids

I… HOP

My dad has a 1953 Studebaker so he is all about showing it off.  Our local IHOP hosts classic car shows on Saturday nights from Spring through Fall (weather permitting) and this weekend was the first of the year.  It was quite a shin-dig, with bounce houses and music and free sno-cones and a Cookie-Lee jewelry booth, so my parents took Alison there on a “date”.  She enjoyed a grape sno-cone before dinner, a cherry sno-cone after, and made several new friends inside the bounce house.  She also stalked “Charlie” the chocolate chip pancake, who, for the record, does NOT pee outside, even though he’s a boy.

Blythe and I met them for dinner (is it still called dinner if you eat breakfast?  Alison doesn’t think so) but didn’t stick around for the festivities.  What I want to know is how they can bring all the grown folks their food and make a small child wait, plate-less, for an extra 15 minutes.  And seriously, pancakes?  Should be the easiest, quickest thing to make.  I mean, for The International House of Pancakes, anyway.  I’m just sayin’.  While Alison WAITED for her food, she managed to poke a hole in the styrofoam cup they brought her milk in.  The hole was about a half inch from the bottom, and so it spilled all over the table, which led right to her LAP.  She wanted me to drive home and get her some dry pants, but I was not about to do that 40 minute round-trip drive.  I know, I’m the worst mom ever – but wait, it gets worse.  She was sitting across the table from me, so I didn’t see the damage until she came over to give me a hug good-bye.  I tried my very, very best not to laugh at my poor girl, but she looked just like she had peed her pants.  A LOT.  So yes, people, I laughed and made her wear those pants for the rest of the night.  NOW you can call me the worst mother ever.

Categories
Entertainment

A Wedding

This evening my good friend, Dusty, is getting married.  I love making invitations and such, so when she called a few months ago to tell me she was GETTING MARRIED!  I, of course, volunteered to make some invites for her.  She ended up needing about 100, and as I had never made that many invitations for anything, much less a wedding, I’m proud of myself for getting them done on time and not getting sloppy!  Of course the next event I made invites for (a mere 2 weeks later) required 130 invitations.  Yowza. 

                                

                        

I wrote her a little note that was especially heartfelt, describing my inspiration for these.  Here’s part of it:


On the outside, you see something classy, pretty, and nice.  Peeking through the tiny holes, you get a glimpse of something more, something intriguing, something worth trying to find.  But can you just tear right into it?  No.  Does it offer up its secrets for just anyone?  No.  You have to work a little, coax it, be gentle.  And slowly, if you’re patient, the knot will loosen.  The inside is just beautiful, an intricate design and pattern that is unexpected.  It holds words of importance, depth, honesty.  The message speaks of hope, love, family and faith.  The beauty inside can be seen peeking through the words, as a promise that they are genuine. The invitations are a reflection of who you are, and they were created just for you, because they are what I see when I see you.