Categories
Motherhood and Pregnancy

And the poop continues…

I feel compelled to put out some instructions for any of you out there who are battling your own baby poop issues.  Or who just want to laugh at me as I battle mine.

Situation:

Your diapered child poops through her pants (more like explodes) while you are trying to eat for the umpteenth time (seriously – is there some sort of mental trigger that releases the sphincter everytime I try to put something tasty in my mouth?  And if so, would it be possible for me get a bite or two in first?). 

Your response:

Until now, your response has been to immediately remove the child from her chair (being careful not to let her press up against you – learned THAT one quick) and lay her on the changing pad in her room.  You may possibly have even thought to put down a lap pad in an attempt to contain the mess.  Good thinkin’!  Strip her down while keeping her hands and feet OUT of the mess (much harder than it sounds).  Wipe her up as best as you can, pile soiled clothing in a small heap (for later*) and carry her into the bathroom for a bath.  Allow child to stand next to bath as you run it, then place her in, wash, dry, re-dress, hopefully in something DARK, probably pajamas.

Your NEW, ‘I’m totally gonna avoid half the mess’ strategy:

Immediately remove child from her chair, holding her like the dad in ‘Mr. Mom’, and carry her to the bathroom.  Allow child to stand next to bath as you run it.  Begin to strip child down and wipe with wipes as you go.  Hear a “splat” sound that can’t be good.  Oh, ick.  The poop is actually splattering out of the diaper onto the floor.  You can’t lay your child down on a cold tile floor, so you just have to work faster.  Remove diaper, and wipe, wipe wipe.  Wipe, wipe.  Wipe.  Wipe up splats of poop on floor before child can step in them.  Oh no, there is poop all over her foot and between her toes.  Wipe, wipe, wipe.  Finish removing jammies and place to the side in a small heap (for later*).  Double check that you got all of the actual poop off of child before placing in tub – wash, dry, re-dress, hopefully in something dark, probably pajamas. 

For later:

Wash out poopy clothing, being sure to check yours because yes, that lingering poop smell is coming from the front of your shirt, or possibly your sleeve.  And if you did the NEW technique, you’ll need to be sure to get all of the poop out of the TOE OF YOUR CHILD’S FOOTIE JAMMIES because, yes, that is how she got poop all over her foot.  Gravity is SO mean like that, you should have laid her on her back instead of letting her STAND NEXT TO THE TUB.

And be quick, the next show starts… well, the next time you’re hungry!

Categories
Letters Motherhood and Pregnancy

10 Months

Dear Blythe,

Today you turned 10 months old.  Which seems just amazing to me, that you are in the “double digits” already.  Those hours, days and weeks that seemed to last forever are long gone.  Ma’Maw told me that as a parent of small children, the days will last forever and the years will fly by in an instant.  I know she was trying to console me when times were tough and remind me to enjoy the moment, and I’m glad she did.

You were suddenly, violently ill today.  You threw up for the first time ever, while you were eating lunch, and I thought you were choking (although, choking on pureed soup?  Pretty hard to do.) and just as I prepared to give you the baby-heimlich, SPEW, there it all went, out of your nose and everything.  I was so scared seeing you like that, my hands didn’t stop shaking for at least an hour.  But you happily enjoyed your bath and didn’t bat an eye.  Not even when you pooped through your pants 3 times (twice before I finally realized that dressing you in white today was not the best idea) and had an equal number of baths today.  I’m so lucky that you are such a happy baby – not even the stomach flu can keep you down.

Last night you figured out how to clap for the first time.  Of course I busted out the video camera.  You have been clapping all day, and get so excited when we clap with you.  Daddy says you must be right handed, since you pretty much hold your left hand still and do all the clapping-motions with your right hand.  I say, you are pretty smart!  Because coordinating two moving hands is quite a bit tougher than just one.

You are so nosy curious, and are content to explore the things around you for what seems like an hour at a time.  You are also (so far) very good at listening when I tell you “No.”.  Sometimes you test me, to see if I’m watching.  You’ll go over to something you know you’re not allowed to play with (like the trim between the wood and tile floor), look intently at it, look at me, then smile.  I give you “the look” and a gentle, “No, Blythe” and you’ll just mosey on, to find something else.  You pull yourself up on just about anything these days, and I think you’ll be trying that first step pretty soon.
            
My life is so much richer with you in it – harder, yes, but that isn’t your fault.  When it’s just you and me, life is EASY, which is why I find it so hard to believe I never got anything done when Alison was your age.  You are everything I ever could have hoped for, all those months we wished for you, and then some.

Here I am, one year ago, anxiously awaiting your arrival:



All my love,
Mama

Categories
Entertainment Life in general

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

I almost skipped today’s post.  So far I haven’t missed a day in March, so although I thought about skipping out, in the end I succumbed to the call of the computer.  Why did I come so close to skipping today, you ask?  No, I wasn’t in a Saint-Patrick’s-Day drunken stupor (although, as soon as I’m done breast feeding my first order of business is going to be to (get a babysitter and then) drink as many pina coladas and strawberry margaritas as possible in one sitting without vomiting.  Natasha, are you in on this or what?) but rather, I have caught some nasty head cold and even had to take  a nap today.  Fortunately I’ve got a little cushion before my next deadline needs to be met – Kim’s shower invitations are all buttoned-up , thanks to this wonderful creation they call ZOTS, and all that needs to be finished is the printing and mailing.  The dreaded April 15th IRS wolf-at-the-door is less than a month away, yes, but I’ve got all the necessary stuff for that in my inbox for tomorrow and once I get it all organized, the fabulous accountant will take care of the rest.  Well, except for paying the bill and OUCH, I am not looking forward to THAT one.  Do you know that in all my years (I’m allowed to say that now that I’m in my 30’s), this will be the first time I won’t be receiving a refund but instead sending $$$?  It hurts, yes it does.  Being a bona-fide grown up isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, my friends.

So anyway, I’ve got this nasty head cold and my nose is running like a faucet, yet is completely blocked at the same time.  My ear hurts, my face is swollen, my temples throb.  Whine, whine.  And yes, I would like some cheese with that.

Categories
Kids

Big Sister – Little Sister

Since Blythe was born, Alison has periodically asked how long it will be until Blythe can play with her.  At first, I told her Blythe would be able to sit up by herself “around Christmas” and would be more fun.  That came, and she asked how long it would be until she could REALLY play with her.  I told her “around spring time” Blythe would be able to crawl and would be more fun, and then by summer she would be walking and could REALLY play!

Alison has waited ever so (im)patiently.  Blythe has been crawling for a few weeks now, and follows Alison everywhere.  It’s obvious that she adores her big sister.  Gone are the days that Alison can just give Blythe a random toy and move a few feet away to play without interference.  Also gone are the days when Alison can play with toys with small or edible parts unless Blythe is sleeping.  Today, Alison said she didn’t want to live with a baby anymore.  “What do you mean?” I asked.  Alison replied, “It’s Ok with me if we can send Blythe back now.  I mean, until she can know which toys are MINE.”

Categories
Food

Chicken Tortilla Soup

A good crock-pot recipe is worth its weight in gold, so whenever I find one that I particularly like, I’ll share it with you.  See how nice sharing is?  That way you don’t have to pick through the icky ones.

The other day I made this Chicken Tortilla Soup and honestly, I didn’t think it was going to taste very good.  It seemed an awful lot like SALSA to me.  I mean, I like salsa as much as the next guy but I wouldn’t want to just eat a bowl of it.  But it was DELICIOUS.

Chicken Tortilla Soup:

Ingredients:

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (recipe says thighs, but we all know breasts are better than thighs.  At least, mine are.)
2  cans (15 oz each) diced tomatoes, undrained
1 can (4 oz) chopped mild green chilies, drained
1/2 to 1 cup chicken broth
1 yellow onion, diced (I used more like 2 thick slices of onion)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon ground cumin (I didn’t have any, and it still tasted good, but whatever.)
Salt and black pepper, to taste (salt tasted salty. pepper tasted peppery)
4 corn tortillas, sliced into 1/4 inch strips (I used a pizza cutter and it cut them evenly, lickety split.  However, the dregs of your tortilla chip bag work just as well, or you can crunch some up.  Decide for yourself, based on if you want your pieces of tortilla crunchy or soft.)
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro (I told you this sounds like salsa!)
1/2 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese (I used WAY more. Mmmm, cheese!)
1 avocado, peeled, diced and tossed with lime juice
Lime wedges

Directions:
1.  Place chicken in crock-pot.  Combine tomatoes with juice, chilies, 1/2 cup broth, onion, garlic and cumin in a small bowl.  Pour mixture over chicken.
(OK, see how it says “small bowl”?  Well I didn’t think a small bowl would work, so I put it in a small MIXING bowl.  Good thing, hey?)


2.Cover; cook on LOW 6 hours or on HIGH 3 hours, or until chicken is tender.  Remove chicken from crock-pot.  Shred with 2 forks.  Return to cooking liquid.  Adjust seasonings, adding salt and pepper, and more broth if necessary.
(The chicken will really just fall apart if you poke it enough with a wooden spoon – no need to remove from crock-pot and dirty up some dishes).
3. Just before serving, add tortillas and cilantro to crock-pot.  Stir to blend.  Serve in soup bowls, topping each serving with cheese, avocado and a sqeeze of lime juice from wedges.

Yum, yum!

**This recipe is courtesy of the Rival Crock Pot “Three Books in 1” cook book **