Today’s guest post was written by V of VDog + Little Man and Room 704. V and I go way back – back to my early days of blogging, to be exact. She’s the sweetest cracker you’ll ever meet. Kind of like a graham cracker with whipped cream. And strawberries. And chocolate. Aaaaand, now I’m hungry.
————–
Heather, Mike & Maddie – My Friends
I first met Heather at BlogHer ’08, during the Macy’s party.
Casey said, “This is Heather from ‘The Spohrs Are Multiplying. If you aren’t reading her, YOU SHOULD.’
Well, okay then!
I interacted with Heather intermittently on Twitter after BlogHer and knew that she was my kind of girl. The Cracker kind.
When we met at Blissdom, it was clear that we would be friends.
We both had preemies, we both liked to drink and cuss, we both just don’t give a fuck — a perfect union!
Our relationship was solidified on the plane ride home from Blissdom. I had to fly through LAX and Heather saved me a seat on the plane since I was the crackah-ass-crackah that got on the plane damn near close to LAST.
Heather and I talked BlogHer ’09 and we cried — YES, we CRIED — about our darling preemie babies. On the gottdamn plane. This is when we bonded. For life.
Three weeks ago, Titi and I went down to Los Angeles to stay with the Spohrs for the 5 Minutes for Mom Ultimate Blog Party In Real Life (featuring Chris Mann) and we got to meet the illuminating spirit that was Maddie. (THREE FUCKING WEEKS AGO, PEOPLE. I was holding and loving and cuddling that little girl.)
Wrapped up in Mike’s arms when we walked through the door, Maddie and her infectious smile was the welcome mat for the Spohr household.
Titi and Maddie took to each other right away; acting almost like brother and sister.
When it was time for us to pack up and leave, my son didn’t want to go. Neither did I. Some people you just *connect* with. Some people are your Crackers. The Spohrs are my Crackers.
*******
Every time I open the computer, I am bombarded with purple and the sweet face of Miss Maddie Moo. Titi sees his friend and talks about her.
I don’t know if it’s a sick compulsion or what, but I asked him, “Do you want to hang out with Mama H and Maddie again?”
Titi said, “YEAH.”
“Night night?” he asked.
I said, “you want to spend the night at Mama H’s house again?”
“YEAH!!”
I did not have the heart to say a damn thing.
*******
I am completely heartbroken and have been at a loss for words about this devastating tragedy. Tonight, I sat down to write because so many others have written such unbelievable tributes. I can do at least this much.
At the service on Tuesday, I stood with Heather and Mike, wishing that instead we were at their home, standing and playing with their dear daughter, Madeline, and not in a Church at Forest Lawn.
I will be strong for my friends. And even though I cry, I will remain strong enough to hold their hands, and offer my shoulder, because I am the one with my precious preemie still alive. And they are not. And it crushes me. The weight of it all.
Our hopes and dreams and plans for our children to grow up as friends. 
Dashed.
Author: Dre
Categories
Laugh, Anyway
Poor Atlas. He carries his burden with such sorrow. 
Look at him, straining every ounce of his being as he balances the weight of the world on his shoulders. His task is so cumbersome, he can’t even look at his surroundings. There could be an endless field of wildflowers at his feet, but their beauty would be lost on him.
Not so long ago, I was just like Atlas. I carried thirty-one years of worries on my back. I collected them the way my grandmother collected salt and pepper shakers: some I chose myself, others were given to me as gifts. But still, they were mine, and I placed them dutifully between my shoulder blades.
Last fall, I carried my burdens with me on a little road trip. I packed them into the car right along with my clothes, never having been a light traveler. All through the first half of my trip, I turned my troubles over in my mind. The “eleven” between my eyes burrowing deeper with every passing mile.
All my life, through times of happiness and bouts of depression, I searched for the secret to holding that weight without being crushed into the dirt. And then, the sweetest little soul showed me how.
Maddie leaned toward me, her hands clapping onto mine. I could hear her wheezing a little, getting through a cold, and yet… she laughed, anyway.
Her bright and curious eyes found mine, and having the knowledge of all she’d been through in her little life, I was struck by the sheer joy she exuded. She laughed, anyway.
This was no Atlas. No, Madeline was stronger than Atlas ever dreamed of being. It’s a shame he never met her, never learned that real strength doesn’t come from holding the weight of the world on your shoulders.
True strength comes from setting it free.
Seventeen months she lived on this Earth, and she knew the secret: to laugh, anyway.
Thank you, Madeline, for teaching me.
And thank you, Heather and Mike, for sharing her joy with the world. It will forever be a lighter place.
Categories
More to Come
Yesterday I celebrated Madeline’s life along with hundreds of other people in Los Angeles, and thousands of people around the world. I would love nothing more than to write about it here, and then spend my day reading what others have to say, as well.
But, duty calls. Despite being given a reprieve in order to attend Maddie’s services, I do have to report back to jury duty today and finish what I started. My heart will be here on the interwebs, even as my head is filled to capacity with legalspeak.
Categories
Monday Mumbers
2 = Big tubes of caulk I utilized in finishing up the baseboards at the rental house
5 = Jokes I tweeted about caulk while caulking. What can I say? Caulk makes me laugh
1 = New baby chick born this weekend, just in time for Easter. *awww*
8485903 = Plastic Easter eggs I hid Saturday night
1 = Times Blythe fell on her face, in the dirt, while hunting Easter eggs.
0 = Pieces of chocolate any of us got to eat for Easter. Sacrilege, I know
584 = Bunny crackers we ate, instead. ‘Tis the life of a food allergic family
7 = Times Alison asked, “Why are you staring at Dad?” as Jeremy cut hay on the tractor
8295 = Times I realized my shirtless husband looks HOT driving the tractor
0 = Times I’ve had him alone since then. Must remedy that situation, and soon
6 = Children moving into the rental we’re fixing up
38250 = Thoughts I’ve had about what condition they’ll leave it in, afterward
15 = People I thanked profusely for making it possible for me to attend Maddie’s service
Infinity = Times I’ve cried for Maddie, Heather and Mike.
Want more Mumbers? Go see our leader, Good Enough Mama.
Edited to add:
I can’t believe… I almost refuse to believe… another one of our bloggers has lost her child.
Shana of Gorillabuns lost her baby boy, Thalon, on Sunday evening. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers, right along with Maddie.
*
And, God? You can stop now. Please.
*Photo of Thalon copied from Gorillabuns – I hope Shana doesn’t mind.
Categories
For Maddie
Please click the button above to help us raise $7000 for Maddie’s funeral costs. If everyone who saw a button donated only $1, we’d reach our goal in no time. The power of the internet is amazing, my friends.
Thank you so much to those who donated to the March of Dimes in Madeline’s honor – as of now, Team Maddie has raised over $20,000!
Services in celebration of Madeline’s life will be held Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 in Los Angeles. I will be at jury duty, as usual, and unable to attend – but my heart will be there with Heather, Mike, and their family and friends.
If you’d like more information on Maddie’s services, how you can help her family, or would like to read what others have to say about her, please visit Meghan’s tribute page.
To read about Maddie’s amazing life story, visit her mother’s site, The Spohrs are Multiplying.
Thank you so much to those who donated to the March of Dimes in Madeline’s honor – as of now, Team Maddie has raised over $20,000!
Services in celebration of Madeline’s life will be held Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 in Los Angeles. I will be at jury duty, as usual, and unable to attend – but my heart will be there with Heather, Mike, and their family and friends.
If you’d like more information on Maddie’s services, how you can help her family, or would like to read what others have to say about her, please visit Meghan’s tribute page.
To read about Maddie’s amazing life story, visit her mother’s site, The Spohrs are Multiplying.