Author: Dre

Disclaimer: As I write this I am angry, disappointed and confused.  I am struggling to make sense of my emotions.  Nothing I say is meant to offend or condemn anyone else.

In the wake of the great change that awaits this nation upon the election of Barack Obama, I am left feeling happy for the nation, and sad for my great state of California.

As I type this, Proposition 8 has a 52% affirmative vote.  We wait for the final 4.6% of our votes to be counted, but the chances of it failing are slim at this point.  In light of the 20% gap between the yes and no votes on Proposition 22 back in March of 2000, I am happy to see that we have covered so much ground in the last 8 1/2 years.

But, as a Christian, I am left with doubts about my religion.  About the bible I have read and loved.  For the first time in my life, I am ashamed to say I am a Christian. 

We are taught to use our bible and our faith as a moral compass through the forest of life.  But as I walk, how can I ignore the signs around me, telling me that I am no longer heading North?  The compass tells me I am walking the path of righteousness, and yet.  The sun and the stars, the moss on the trees, my very own heart, mind and gut tell me the compass is wrong.

How can I continue to support a religion that preaches to love thy neighbor, judge not, and accept free will, and in the very same breath works hard to oppress people they don’t even know, in the name of God?  Regardless of what the bible says about homosexuality, this is NOT the Christian United States of America, and people have FREE WILL for a reason.  Just as I am FREE to be a Christian, so should other people be FREE of the shackles of my beliefs.  How does one person’s choice to love and marry another effect my life, my marriage, my religious beliefs?

I was one of those kids in history class who just knew she would have been one of the brave people to stand up for civil rights in the 1950’s, regardless of how her family, neighbors or church felt.  Heather’s brother Kyle pointed out that most of us probably felt that way. 

There are places in this country where they still believe people of color are less than.  They quote bible scriptures that affirm their beliefs in their minds.  I have heard it with my own ears, seen it with my own eyes.  These past few weeks I have heard and seen bible verses thrown at other people as a weapon – people who are just trying to live their lives in the best way that they can, just like everyone else – and tell them that they will take away their rights based on those scriptures.

I am appalled.  I am sad.  I am terribly, terribly confused.  I stand at a great precipice in the course of my life, and I must choose my compass wisely.

Well, it’s official!  I placed my bet cast my ballot.  Or touched the computer screen, anyway.  What’s the term for that newfangled technology?

I am now the proud wearer of an “I VOTED!” sticker.  Which my children will promptly steal, I’m sure. 

Being the official reminder-er of our family, I have decided to NOT remind my husband to go vote today.  He is still undecided, and I’m not the type to push a grown man.

The problem is this: he has a rule that he won’t vote for a president who hasn’t served in the military.  I say, rules are made to be broken.  But don’t tell the kids I said that.

This morning I had a talk with Alison before school, and she asked why I wanted her to remember that today was election day.  It’s important to me that she remember today, and be able to look back as an adult and recall with clarity what happened on Tuesday, November 4th, 2008.

And so I ask her, “What is today?” and she says, “Tuesday?”.

And I say, “What important thing is Mommy doing today?” and she says, “Picking me up from school on time?”

And I say, “Of course, yes.  But also, who is Mommy voting for today?” and she says, “That nice man from the computer.  The man you said is going to be president.”

And I say, “Yes, baby, but what is his name?” and she says, “Barack Mabama!”

And I say, “Close enough”.