Category: Health and Nutrition

Categories
Health and Nutrition

For Spite

Alternately titled:

I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST POSTED PHOTOS OF MYSELF IN A SWIMSUIT ON THE INTERNET

A few weeks ago I was chucking along on the treadmill at the gym when I overheard the following conversation:

Blonde: “Yeah, so, I’m kinda like thinking about entering that fitness competition?  And so I was, ya know, looking it up on the website?  And then I was all, O-M-G, the age cut off for my class is, like, THIRTY-FIVE.”

Brunette: “OH MY GOD.  AS IF.”

**insert hysterical laughter**

Dre: **rolls her eyes and ups the speed on her treadmill**

Blonde:  “Oh my god, I know, right?  Like, there is no way someone in their thirties could compete with this.”  **Flambouyantly gestures to herself**

Dre:  **physically restrains herself from cutting a twenty-something bitch with a water bottle cut into a shiv**

————

So, purely for spite, this thirty-something woman is starting a 10-week fitness training regimen to get myself ready for competition, where I plan to kick some twenty-something ass.

Don’t worry, lovelies, it’s not a body building competition.  I would never, ever do that to my body.  It’s a “Women’s Figure Competition” which is quite different, in that the women still look like women, not dudes with breast implants.*

Each weekend I plan to update my progress here and answer any questions that come in through the week, so ask away.

Keep in mind that I reserve the right to chicken out.  You prance around in a swimsuit in front of thousands of people, and then give me shit for changing my mind.  I also reserve the right to decide that Women’s Figure Competitions are completely lame.

THE BEFORE SHOTS:

Before
Before

*I am very sorry if you are a woman body builder and I offended you.  It’s just not my thing.  Please don’t hurt me.

Categories
Health and Nutrition Life in general

Change

Put yourself in her shoes.  A moment is all I ask.

You’re a woman.

A mother.  A wife.  A daughter.  A sister.  A friend.  An employee.

You are many things to many people. 

You don’t feel well, but you press on.  Time passes, and your husband encourages you to go to the doctor.

Your employer doesn’t offer health insurance, and you can’t afford to pay for private-pay coverage – not with 5 mouths to feed and bills to pay, not since your husband was laid off when the economy tanked. 

Your family qualifies for medicaid , as long as your income stays low, and so your husband works only part time, keeping you just below the cut-off.  You can’t risk not having health coverage for your kids.

So you try to go to the doctor and you are refused, time and time again, because few doctors will take Medicaid patients and those who do, aren’t accepting new patients.  You call your former doctor, sure he will see you, and learn he has retired.

Your symptoms persist, get worse.

You go to the local clinic and are told you probably have “woman problems”.  Probably.  Have woman problems.  Whatever the hell that means. 

Finally, you find a doctor who will see you, and he tells you, point blank, that he doesn’t like to take Medicaid patients.  As he examines your abdomen, he says yes, he can feel something.  It’s probably ovarian cysts.  Probably.  He gives you a prescription for pain killers and tells you to come back in 6 months if you’re still having problems.

The months pass.  Your symptoms have worsened, and the pain meds only slightly dull the pain.  You can hardly function, barely get through the day, but you’ve used all your sick time and are afraid to be fired if you don’t show up for work.  Your family needs that paycheck. 

You call for an appointment and are told that the soonest the doctor can see you is 3 months from now.  Because you’re on Medicaid, and there are only so many slots available.

You suffer.  Your family suffers with you, because the pain is so severe, so horrendous.  You’ve lost your appetite, overcome with relentless nausea.  Your friends and family comment on how pale you look.

Finally, you get in to see the doctor.  Again, he complains about your Medicaid.  Makes you feel like you’re the scum on the bottom of his shoe.  He looks at your file, listens to your complaints.  Without even examining you, he writes you a new prescription for a different pain medication.  Tells you that if you’re still not well in six months, he’ll discuss a hysterectomy with you.  Because you probably have woman issues.  Probably.

More time passes, and you are in so much pain that you can barely walk.  Getting into the car one day, you feel as though something in your abdomen has burst.  The pain is unbearable, like nothing you have ever felt.  You are rushed to the ER.

The CAT scan reveals two large tumors.  The one on your colon is 5 cm in diameter.  The one on your liver is a whopping 12 cm.  A biopsy concludes that they are malignant.

“There are a few treatment options,” the oncologist says, “but so many more if we’d caught it sooner.”

If only someone had taken you seriously when you first sought medical attention.

There is nothing left to do, but hope, and weep, and wonder what could have been. 

If only.

She has a name, a face, a history.  Likes, dislikes, passions.

Her name is Rachel.

She has a wonderful smile, an infectious laugh.

She works hard, pays her taxes. 

Maybe you support healthcare reform.  Possibly, you oppose it.  Perhaps you don’t know what to think.

Is this what Rachel deserves, America?  Is this the kind of healthcare that anyone should have to live with?  To die with?

This much I know is true:

Rachel is not the only one.  Politicians can spout off statistics all day long, but who are the people behind them?  What are their names?  What are their stories?  

Put yourself in any of their shoes, only for a moment.  And then dare to tell me that nothing needs to change.

Categories
Food Health and Nutrition

Mayday! Challenge – The Results

I’ve found, over the last 6 weeks, that getting my health in check has had a bit of an anchoring effect on my life.  In the midst of all the chaos, this is constant, this makes sense.

It was hard at first, I won’t lie.  I was miserable for the first two weeks, at least, and had plenty of days where I felt like I was fighting a losing battle.

But as I replaced my bad habits with good ones, and as I built up my endurance, I discovered that I really feel great when I eat well and exercise.  It’s not anything I didn’t know – I was in great shape and ate incredibly well for a decade.  But once I got out of that routine and developed bad habits, it was hard to remember what healthy felt like.

Through this 6 week journey, I’ve come to terms with the fact that my weight is about simple math.  I gained 20 pounds.  Each pound is 3500 calories.  That means I consumed 70,000 more calories than I burned, which in turn means I need to burn those 70,000 calories in order to get back to where I started.  That is a whole lot of freaking calories!  Change can’t happen over night because it’s not mathematically possible.

Accepting that it’s not personal, it’s math, has helped me tremendously to look at my fitness goals with logic rather than emotion.

Letting go of that emotional baggage?  HUGE.

My friend Kelly pointed me toward a fabulous website called Fitday.com and I will freely admit that I’ve become a wee bit obsessed with it.  If you have any desire to lose weight, get in shape, or just see where you are, health and nutrition wise, I suggest that you check it out!  It’s completely free (unless you upgrade to premium, but in my opinion, what they offer for free is awesome) and it helps you to break your goals down into basic math.

Basically, you give it your stats: age, weight, height, lifestyle (sedentary, active, or somewhere in between) and it tells you how many calories you burn in a day, just living.  You can break down your day into as many increments as you want to get it exactly right, or you can just let it estimate.

Then you set your goals, and it tells you, in black and white, what you need to do to reach them.  It helps you keep track of your food intake and your activities, and lets you know where you’re at each day, week, month, etc.  Seriously, check it out!  Whatcha waiting for?  Did I mention it’s FREE ?

So.  After six weeks and a few days of making healthy choices, I feel better than I’ve felt in a very, very long time.

After (see, I took your suggestion, Kellee !):

— Don’t mind the smudgy mirror —

And?  And!!!  This morning I put on my favorite Citizens of Humanity Jeans , the ones that wouldn’t even come up past my knees six weeks ago.

Behold:

I did it!

Overall, I lost 10 pounds and 3% of my body fat, which was my goal.  I come away from my Mayday Challenge knowing that I can splurge occasionally as long as I keep my math in check, but for the most part?  I will continue to exercise and make healthy choices because it makes me feel good.

 

And?  Because I am worth the effort.

 

Damn.  Straight.

Categories
Allergies Food Health and Nutrition

Decadent Whole Wheat Chocolate Cake

After my last post about real food vs what passes for food sometimes, I thought I’d post a recipe of one of our favorite indulgences.  Because, yes, I do think it’s good for my kids to be exposed to sweets so they won’t go nuts for them when they’re older, but it’s going to be on my terms for as long as possible!

I’m of the opinion that even treats can be good for you – or if not necessarily good, at least better than what is standard in our fine, fine country these days.  My kids love the healthier versions of “junk” food that I serve them as a treat, and I think you will too!

I first started experimenting with recipes for “wacky cake ” (cake made without egg or dairy) about 2 years ago, right after we learned of Blythe’s corn and egg allergies .  I’ve finally come up with a recipe we all love, which happens to be free of egg, corn, soy and dairy – and it’s even whole grain, to boot – while still managing to be utterly delicious.

I made this cake and frosting (which isn’t dairy-free, fyi) for my husband’s birthday yesterday, and it was a huge hit at our table.  Try it!  I think you’ll be surprised at how good healthy can taste!   

On a side note: ignore all product specifics if you don’t need to make the cake safe for the food allergic, any old stuff will do – other than the whole wheat flour and cholesterol-free oil, that is!  And, as always, if you are food allergic – double check the product labels in case of changes.

Dre’s Decadent Whole Wheat Chocolate Cake (or Cupcakes):
*Corn – Egg – Soy & Dairy – Free*

Ingredients:

*  1 1/2 cups Wheat Montana Prairie Gold 100% Whole Wheat Flour (trust me – there is a huge difference between using this particular whole wheat flour and others I have tried. Use it.)

*  1 cup  Florida Crystals Natural Cane Sugar 

*  3 Tablespoons unsweetened natural Cocoa (I use Whole Foods  or Trader Joe’s brands)

*  1 teaspoon of baking soda

*  1/2 teaspoon fine-ground sea salt

*  1 teaspoon organic vanilla extract

*  1 teaspoon organic distilled white vinegar

*  5 tablespoons Capullo cholesterol-free Canola Oil

*  1 cup of cold water

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 350 F.  Spray your cake pan (I use a 9″ round springform pan) with Pam Organic Olive Oil cooking spray . 

**If making the frosting as well, put a medium sized glass bowl and your beaters in the freezer now, too.**

In a large mixing bowl, mix flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda and salt.  With a medium/large spatula, make a large hole in one third of the mixture.  Turn the spatula over, and using the stick end, make two smaller holes in each of the other thirds of the mixture.  In one small hole, pour the vanilla.  In the other small hole, pour the vinegar.  In the large whole, pour the oil.  If it looks like an odd little face staring up at you, you’re doing it right.  Pour the cold water over the top and stir until moist.

Pour your mixture into your pan, and bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until the cake springs back when touched lightly.

For cupcakes, bake 15-20 minutes – mine are usually perfect at 18 minutes exactly.

When done, place cake pan on a cooling rack, remove outer springform and let cool completely before frosting.

Dre’s Chocolate Whipped Cream Frosting
*Corn – Egg & Soy – Free*

Ingredients:

*  1 cup Horizon Organic Heavy Whipping Cream

*  1 teaspoon organic vanilla extract

*  2 1/2 tablespoons Florida Crystals Natural Cane Sugar

*  2 1/2 tablespoons unsweetened natural Cocoa (again, I use Whole Foods  or Trader Joe’s  brands)

You remembered to put your medium sized glass bowl and beaters in the freezer about 20 minutes ago, right?  Go ahead and take them out now.  Pour everything into the bowl and start whipping with your mixer on a medium speed.  Beat until stiff peaks form, but be sure to stop before it gets “gummy”.  Gummy frosting still tastes good, but it’s harder to work with.

Frost your cake however you’d like and ENJOY! 

Your family won’t even realize they’re getting a full serving of whole grains with every slice.  Now that, my friends, is a tasty treat!

Categories
Food Health and Nutrition Kids Parenting

Food vs “Food”

Alison’s cousin came to stay over the weekend, and I found myself exasperated at the child’s refusal to eat any of the food I had to offer.

She’s always been a picky eater, and believe me, I get the whole picky thing.  As a child, and actually through to my early twenties, my hypothalamus failed to notify me when my body needed fuel.  As a result, I never felt hungry.  And if food looked funny, smelled funny, or felt funny, I didn’t eat it. 

So, yeah.  I get it.  My history of pickiness is the reason we have a household rule that the kids have to try at least one bite of everything I put on their plates, healthy or not.

However.  In my opinion, this not-quite 7-year-old’s eating habits go beyond being picky.  She will not eat anything that is not deep fried, unless it’s ramen noodles or  a peanut butter and jelly sandwich – and even then, it has to be on white bread, no crusts. 

Her visit was unexpected, and so I had nothing to feed her int he pantry.  Blythe and I had to make a quick run up to the corner market, otherwise girlfriend was going to starve the whole time she was here.  And yes, I told her that I was not happy about spending $20 on “junk” because she won’t eat a damn banana or whole wheat noodle.

The child does not consume anything with any nutritional value.  N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

I know I go above and beyond when it comes to serving whole, nutritious foods in my household, and I also understand that not everyone eats that way.  If it weren’t for Blythe’s food allergies, I’d probably even allow my kids to eat a deep fried this or that on occasion. 

My in-laws insist that Alison’s cousin’s greasy food habit is normal, and my kids’ love of fruits, veggies, and whole grains is an oddity. 

It’s hard for me to believe that in this age of information, serving kids nothing but hollow foods is standard.  But then again, childhood obesity is at an all-time high, and you can’t go to a restaurant without seeing corndogs and chicken nuggets on the children’s menu.

So help me out, my friends.  Where on the spectrum does your family fall? 

Do your kids refuse to eat anything that isn’t fried or sugar filled?  Are your kids fruit and veggie junkies?  Or do they fall somewhere in between, in a happy medium?