Category: Health and Nutrition

Categories
Health and Nutrition

Lady Bits

I’m having issues with some of my lady parts.

I have a large cyst on my left ovary, which, in and of itself is not really a big deal.  Cysts happen, sometimes they burst, it hurts like hell (currently still sore but manageable), and then you get on with your life.

The cyst is the reason I spent the majority of last Friday in a hospital gown, being poked and prodded by various medical instruments.  

        *As an aside, I’d like to thank MerlotMom for the TP warning, and the universe as a whole for somehow making sure I shaved my legs for the first time in 2 months, the day prior.  Seriously saved me much embarrassment.*

While they were getting a look at the cyst, they found something.  Two somethings, actually.

Thing number one: A mass.  Also answers to the name “nodule”.  Something dense, not fluid filled like the cyst.  It’s questionable in its own right, but even more so because lady-part cancers run in my family *and* because I have been an ovum donor – twice.

The emergency doctor and radiologist think I should wait 6 weeks to see if it grows.  If it does, we either biopsy it or remove the ovary all together.  It’s not like I need that ovary, anyway.  If it doesn’t grow, we wait another 6 weeks and check it again… lather, rinse, repeat.

Me?  I’m not a wait and see kind of person.  Taking shit by storm is more my style.  There is a reason they call ovarian cancer the silent killer, and I’m not about to let it slip through the cracks.  Especially when I have somehow been given the gift of early detection. 

So I’m shopping for a health practitioner with the same kind of attitude, one that can point me in the right direction.  I think I’ve found one.  I’ll know for sure on Thursday whether we’re in this together or I’m going to kick him to the curb and start over.

Thing number two: My bicornuate uterus has changed shape.  Back before I had any kids, it was fairly normal and cow-head-looking.  Normal enough, anyway, that it was missed by numerous radiologists and ultra sound technicians – even fertility experts who had a wand up my hoo-hah more times than I could count, during ovum donation. 

After I had Alison, the odd shape was very obvious.  They assumed the reason for the sudden change was because the endometrial lining was thicker.  Several ultra sounds and an extremely painful hysterosalpingogram (HSG) later, and we had a very clear picture of the heart-shape of my deformed uterus. 

Look Mom, let’s hang it on the fridge in honor of Valentine’s Day!

After I had Blythe, and hemorrhaged, my uterus was all kinds of messed up.  I can only imagine what the films from that ordeal look like, and until now, I haven’t had any desire to see them.

As of Friday, my uterus has, apparently, begun to collapse upon itself.  It is now square-ish and squashed looking, with the top of the “heart” – the septum – now touching the bottom like a power yoga move gone horribly awry. 

I can’t even find a diagram of that kind of uterus. 

The tech drew me a picture, one I wish I’d had the foresight to tuck into my pocket before she put it in my chart.  Oh, wait, it’s not like I had any pants on at the time… where exactly was I thinking I’d hide it?

Right now, the collapsing uterus isn’t causing me any problems.  It’s secondary to the other, more urgent issue of the mass on my ovary.  But it does need to be taken care of – probably when my ovary is being poked and/or removed. 

Because, really?  Nobody wants to be walking along one day and have their uterus fall out of their fagina.  It would probably ruin whatever shoes I was wearing at the time.

In the meantime, I’m looking into research hospitals – surely someone must want to document this kind of madness for the sake of medical science.  It seems a shame for such an oddity to wind up in the haz-mat dumpster behind the local small-town hospital.

Categories
Health and Nutrition Ranch Life

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

My hands are tied, and it’s making me feel rather frustrated. 

I mentioned before that Jeremy and I created a charitable organization to help connect the ranchers of our community with hungry families.  In our minds, it created a win-win situation for everyone involved.

Unfortunately, things have come to a screeching halt because the issue of liability was brought up by a reporter interested in doing an article in our local paper.  Rather than highlight the good we were doing, she wanted to focus on the bad: who people could sue. 

Thanks for the support, local paper!

Our organization has helped hundreds of otherwise hungry families eat nutritious food, donated by ranchers who asked for nothing in return – not even a tax write-off. 

Professionals are involved in every step of the process, to make sure only quality ground beef goes home to those families.  And yet, when a reporter starts asking those professionals about liability, people get spooked.  And families go hungry while people like me scramble to do some damage control.

It was suggested by the reporter that instead of asking local ranchers to donate meat, we’d do better to ask supermarkets, thereby putting the issue of liability on “Corporate America”.

Well, listen here.  That is not the point. 

The point is that we are a community, taking care of our own.

Supermarkets cannot donate hundreds of pounds of beef in one go.  They are working for a profit.  Ranchers, though?  They can donate a quarter of a steer and not blink an eye.

Your average steer weighs about 1500 pounds.  Subtract about 30% of that for bone and, um… the stuff that goes into “hot dogs” and you’ve got 1050 pounds.  A quarter of that is 262.5 pounds of ground beef.

Do you know how many mouths that feeds?

And yet.  Our meat packer – the only one in our area that is state inspected, is spooked.  They won’t package any more “charity meat” until we can take the liability off of their hands.

Our insurance agents can’t get a liability policy for us, because the meat isn’t ours.  They say the liability lies with the packers. 

The USDA requirements for donated meat have been met – and yet, people are going hungry.

I don’t know what to do.  I have no idea how to keep things going at this point, and I don’t have any money to give to a corporate attorney.  I hope, with a little bit of research, I can solve this problem and be able to move forward.  I’ve already discovered that Idaho has dealt with this issue already. 

Has California?  If not, how can I get them to?

A part of me wishes that the people who have used our court system to become millionaires over cups of spilled coffee could see what they’ve done to the spirit of giving – they should be ashamed at the ugliness they have created.

Categories
Health and Nutrition Life in general Motherhood and Pregnancy

Strength

When disaster strikes, the way it has recently in Haiti, people wonder what they can do to help.

Watching footage of people being pulled from rubble from the comfort of our living rooms can make us feel powerless, especially in our current economy, when many people can’t donate much to relief funds.

But there is something most people can do, and it doesn’t cost a dime.

Give Blood. 

Give it now, in the midst of major catastrophe, and give it later, when time has brought about complacency.  Give it for the heroes, for the needy, for the woman behind you on line at Starbucks.

I am that woman.



This is my family in crisis.  My family that would be incomplete, were it not for blood donors.

Here you see a phenomenally strong and able-bodied man, gently cradling his newborn daughter and holding his wife’s hand as medical professionals try to force her uterus to stop bleeding.  He is the epitome of strength, and yet he is powerless to save the woman he loves.

My husband, one of the strongest people I have ever known, held my hand.  He helped me through the pain, he kept me from fading away.

But it was blood donors (with the help of a fabulous midwife and countless doctors, nurses, and EMTs) who saved my life.  I hemorrhaged severely three times after giving birth to Blythe.  During the second and third hemorrhages, which occurred in less than 24 hours, I lost seven pints of blood. 

My body only holds approximately eight pints of blood. 

I am alive today because eight random strangers took the time to give their blood and plasma.

Giving blood saves lives.  It saves lives in times of worldwide tragedy, and it saves lives every single day, for people whose stories will never make it onto the 5 o’clock news.

So, give.  Give now and give often.  Go to www.redcrossblood.org, or www.BloodSource.org to find out where, how, and, if I haven’t yet convinced you, why. 

You never know when you will be the one in need.

*you can’t see it very well in this photo, but jeremy just so happens to be wearing his “Don’t Be Chicken: Give Blood!” t-shirt (from bloodsource) in this photo.  coincidence?  i don’t think so.*

Categories
Health and Nutrition Neuroses PPD

Withdrawal from Lexapro: Part 1


Disclaimer: This post is long.  Mainly because I was a wimp and didn’t post the first part last week, as I should have.  So, two posts in one = long ass post.

Nine months ago, I was suffering from depression and anxiety so severe, I felt as though I was struggling to live my life from the bottom of a deep hole.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful doctor who gently suggested that I try some medication, coupled with therapy. Just for a little while, just to make it so that I could put one foot in front of the other without feeling completely overwhelmed.

The plan, initially, was for me to start with 10mg of Lexapro and re-evaluate my situation in nine months. I have no doubt that Lexapro saved me from myself. Because of it, I was able to function, to interact with people, to care for my kids in a manner that was acceptable to me.

However… for the past few months, the side effects from the Lexapro have been outweighing the benefits. I feel myself walking through a constant fog of apathy accentuated with days of extreme sadness. Every single aspect of my life feels overwhelming, and yet I have no energy or desire to tackle even the smallest item on my to-do list. No matter what I eat, or how little I eat, I gain an average of 2-3 pounds per week. Even worse, my body fat percentage jumped six percent in four weeks.

I complain, constantly, and can’t see the sunshine in my life, even as it blinds me.

Four weeks ago, I decided that I need to either up my dosage of Lexapro, or kick it to the curb.

Me? I choose to reclaim my life, and quit the meds with a plan in place, a safety net, and my therapist on speed-dial.

———

I wrote that last week. I never published it, because I wasn’t sure I would go through with it. I had little confidence in my ability to swallow that last pill and walk away.

But today? Today is day four without my meds. Today I feel amazing. Today I feel as though the fog is lifting and I can see my surroundings for the first time in a very, very long time.

And, bonus – my body fat has already dropped 2% with no exercise what-so-ever.  Unless wearing my Sketchers Shape-Ups while sitting on the couch reading People Magazine counts as exercise.  Doubtful.

I have experienced some negative side-effects from Lexapro Withdrawal so far. The worst, for me, is the vertigo and the muscle cramps. I have also experienced some brain zaps, a racing heart, and short bouts of rage and crying.  But I know they are temporary. And thanks to an amazing therapist and an incredible book, I know how to fight them and an even mor

My saving grace has been the book Depression Free, Naturally, written by Joan Mathews Larson, PH.D. who works in conjunction with the Health Recovery Center.  My friend Kelly, who is familiar with my struggles, recommended I read this book.

By the way, Kelly – I owe you, big time. This book helped me to create a plan for myself, not only for the days and weeks following my last dosage of Lexapro, but for keeping myself mentally and hormonally healthy for the rest of my life.

Currently, to combat the horrid side effects of Lexapro Withdrawal, I am taking the following supplements:

Breakfast:
3 – Amino Acid Combos
1 – B Vitamin Complex
1 – Omega 3
1 – Magnesium
1 – Chewable Vit. C

Lunch:
1 – B Vitamin Complex
3 – Amino Acid Combos
1 – Iron
1 – Zinc

After Dinner:
3 – Amino Acid Combos
1 – B Vitamin Complex
1 – Chewable Vit. C
2 – Tryptophan

And, when I need it for anxiety, I’m taking Hyland’s Nerve Tonic.

I know that seems like a lot, and it is! But without these, my symptoms would be much, much worse. Based on my research, the symptoms of Lexapro Withdrawal can be so severe that normally sane people contemplate suicide, hear voices, and go without sleep for weeks at a time. I didn’t want that to be me.


In fact, the first night I took the Tryptophan, I had a good night of sleep for the first time in nearly ten years. It is my new best friend.


The next few weeks will be rough, I know that. But I am so excited about the future. I am incredibly happy to start getting to know my true self again, and to introduce her to all of you.


Thank you for supporting me as I navigate the journey that is my life – it means so very much to me.

Categories
Food Health and Nutrition

Super Tasty Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

Super Tasty Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies – that are, amazingly, also pretty good for you!

Preheat Oven to 350 degrees

In a gallon sized ziploc bag, combine the following Dry Ingredients:

* 1 cup whole wheat flour (I use Prairie Gold by Wheat Montana when I bake, because it’s naturally sweeter than most whole wheat flours)
* 1 cup old-fashioned oats
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1/2 tsp sea salt
* A shake or two of cinnamon (1/4 to 1/2 tsp)
* 3/4 cup nestle mini-morsels (use more or less, based on your preference)

Shake it up, set it aside.

Then get out your medium/large bowl and put in the following “Wet” Ingredients, stirring between each addition until just combined:

* 6 Tbsp unsalted butter, softened
* 3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
* 1/2 cup banana puree (one regular banana = 1/2 cup puree)
* 1/2 cup zucchini puree (one large fresh or about a cup of frozen, sliced = 1/2 cup)
* 1 large egg white*

Dump in the baggie of dry ingredients, mix until it’s all moistened.

Lightly spray two cookie sheets with cooking spray.

I use either a melon baller (for kid-sized cookies) or my Tablespoon to scoop the dough and drop it onto the cookie sheets, about a half inch apart.  I mash them down a little with the scoop, because they don’t expand much.

Bake them for 12-14 minutes.  They’ll still be soft, but slightly golden.

Pull them out of the oven and let them sit for a few minutes before moving them to a rack to cool.

Just a warning, though – around here, they last less than two hours.  Double the batch if you want them to stick around for any amount of time!  They are seriously the most delicious cookies I’ve ever eaten. 

Also, while I was breastfeeding?  They increased my milk supply. 

They are MAGIC COOKIES! *insert jazz hands here*

* When Blythe was allergic to eggs, I mixed the following in a bowl to replace the egg white:
1 1/2 Tbsp water
1 1/2 Tbsp oil
1 tsp corn-free baking powder

Tastes just as good!