Category: Marriage

Part 1 of this story is ~Here~

I had just carelessly tossed what I thought was something disgusting, only to be told it contained a diamond ring.  For me.

The moonlight, which had seemed so romantic only a moment before, now seemed ridiculously inadequate for combing miles of beach for something small and, well, sand covered.

To his credit, Jeremy only let me search for a minute or five two before telling me he was kidding about the ring.  Long enough for him to have a good chuckle, but not long enough for me to lose my fracking mind.

I begged him to promise me he wasn’t just saying that to make me feel better, but I couldn’t be sure.

Especially when, at breakfast the following morning, our friend told us he’d heard of someone finding a diamond ring on the beach with one of those treasure-finding metal detectors.

“It’s too bad you never even got to see it,” Jeremy said solemnly before winking at me and assuring me, again, that they were just kidding.

With each passing day, I thought more about that gooshy ball, trying to remember whether or not I’d felt something hard inside of it.  If Jeremy had the ring, he wouldn’t continue to make me wait, would he? 

Finally, after a few more moonlit strolls along the beach, Jeremy got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife.  He claims he said more than that, but I couldn’t tell you for sure. 

I was too busy looking at my beautiful, hand-engraved engagement ring.

I’m fairly certain that if I had thrown it away, he would have given me one made out of seaweed.

My husband, Jeremy, likes to keep me on my toes by surprising me.

Occasionally it’s with things like fresh-picked roses or a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, but more often than not he surprises me with something gross.

He’ll kiss me passionately, only to push some chewed up piece of plastic into my mouth with his tongue.

He’ll tell me to come and see something cool, and I discover a decapitated or disemboweled rat.

I love him dearly.  Who wouldn’t?

We’d been dating for about 4 years when we took a week-long vacation to beautiful and romantic Cancun with our friends Kimberly and Fausto, who had just gotten married.

Our first night there, Jeremy took me for a moonlit stroll on the beach.

There was soft white sand as far as the eye could see, and the beach was deserted except for the two of us.  The warm ocean lapped gently beside us as we walked, hand in hand, discussing our friends’ wedding. 

He held me in his arms as we stared out to sea, where the moon reflected on the water like a path to eternity.  I sighed contentedly as I leaned my head against his shoulder.

“Here, have this,” he said quietly.

He dropped something small and round into my palm.  I glanced at what appeared to be a small ball covered in sand, and closed my hand.

It was squishy.  Gooey.  Disgusting. 

“Thanks,” I said as I threw it over my shoulder.  I heard a quiet thud as it landed somewhere in the miles of sand that lay behind us.

“Just so you know,” he whispered in my ear, “there was a diamond ring in there.”

                                                    To be continued…..

Jeremy and I dated for five years before we got married.  There were a lot of reasons behind the decision to wait.  One of them was a statement I made when we had been dating for about a year, that I didn’t want to get married until I was done with college.  Did I know it would take me a full seven years to get my degree?  No, I did not. 

But it worked out for the best.  Our relationship wasn’t ready until then.  Don’t get me wrong, we knew we loved each other.  We even knew we wanted to spend our lives together.  We just… weren’t ready for the big leagues. 

I have young women ask me fairly often how I knew Jeremy was “the one” for me.  It’s not an easy answer, but it starts with the way I felt about myself when I was around him, even before we started dating.  As our relationship progressed, it became a question of whether or not our core beliefs could not only survive together, but flourish. 

One thing I always try to point out is that people don’t change who they are.  Their behaviors can waiver, certainly, but even those change only with hard work or a major life event (or both).  Communication is so important.  Many people say that, because it’s true.  The way someone communicates (or doesn’t) can make or break a relationship.

Over the last ten years, we’ve grown our relationship to be what it is.  It didn’t happen over night, we worked to create a cohesive marriage.  We’ve found that we love each other more now than we did in those early times, more than when we got married, even, mainly because of our growth together. 

Does he still leave his stinky socks on the bathroom floor?  Occasionally.  But it doesn’t bother me, because he kisses my neck while I do the dishes.  He listens to what I have to say.  When I’m hormonal, he treats me with extra tenderness.  He enjoys my company and would rather be with me than hanging out in a bar.  But that’s now. 

Good relationships don’t just happen.  And even the best of them go through rough times.  It won’t always be smooth sailing, but you’ve got to work to get to those calm waters.  You must appreciate, enjoy, love each other every day, even when you’d rather not.