Author: Dre

Categories
Health and Nutrition

And Now I Know What Menopause Feels Like

Remember back when I had that ovarian cancer  scare , and it turned out I just had extremely low estrogen ? 

Well, guess what?

Estrogen replacement therapy isn’t covered by my insurance , since I’m not menopausal!  Isn’t that nice?  For the insurance company?  Why yes, yes it is!  Haha!

Fortunately for me, I have a doctor who knows all about natural remedies.  Because, seriously people, there is not a single prescription in this family that is covered by insurance.  And that’s a damn shame, since we fork over almost as much for insurance and prescriptions as we do for our mortgage!  Isn’t that nice?  For the insurance company?  Why yes, yes it is!  Haha!

I’ve been taking Organic Black Cohosh , which is is an herbal supplement known to help increase the body’s estrogen level.  By the way, I love how they put the words, “Menopausal & Perimenopausal Support” in bright red letters right on the front of the label!  Haha!

The trick of it is, I have to take the Black Cohosh capsules exactly 12 hours apart or I start to experience… drumroll please… all the fun symptoms of menopause!

If I take the capsules too close together, I get the symptoms of too much estrogen – hot flashes, crabbiness, restlessness.  If I take the capsules too far apart (or forget one all together) I get the symptoms of a drop in estrogen – migraines, chills, lethargy, and random spotting. 

Isn’t that nice?   Haha!

Do you think this whole faux-menopause-at-32 thing will score me a senior discount at IHOP?

Now that would be nice!

Categories
Health and Nutrition

Mayday! Update, Week 1

The first week of my Mayday!  Challenge went really well – better than I ever could have hoped. 

Each day, my goal was to exercise at least 15 minutes, and after the first couple of days, I was able to do 30 minutes or more.  I surprised myself!  That is, until yesterday when I gorged on Shari’s Berries (totally worth it) and Pizza (not worth it) and didn’t exercise at all (definitely not worth it).

Oh well, though, today is a new day!

The scale doesn’t show a whole lot of change so far – not even two whole pounds lost – although, I’ve lost .8% of my body fat which is beyond exciting for me.  Yeah, yeah, I know the body fat thing can vary depending on the amount of water in your body at any given time, but I’m taking this little nugget and squeezing it for all it’s worth, ok?

The photos.  I am far more pleased with myself in this week’s photos, even after yesterday’s binge.  The comparison makes it even more impressive.  ONE WEEK of exercise and (fairly) healthy living, people! 

These photos make me want to stick with it.

   
  Today – Week One                     “Before”

   
     Today – Week 1                          “Before”

The scale can kiss my ass – look at that difference!

**Edited to add:  A few of you have emailed me asking about my “secret” and it’s no secret!  I’ll share any and all of my tips with anyone who wants them. 

First of all, I made up a bubble chart to help me easily keep track of what I’m eating and drinking, as well as how I’m exercising.  It’s incredibly simple, but oh-so helpful.  If you’d like me to send it to you (for some reason I’m not able to format it correctly to post it here, or I would) leave a comment here or email me at Jerdre53 (at) aol (dot) com.

Secondly, I think daily exercise is absolutely the key to me slimming down so quickly.  I alternate between cardio days in which I either jog/walk (I usually jog two laps, then walk a lap, and repeat), riding a stationary bike or walking on the treadmill and strength training.  I have a gym membership, but it’s almost impossible for me to get to the gym at this point in my life.  Instead, I rely on Jackie’s Power Circuit Training DVD, alternating between the lower body, upper body, ab and total body 15 minute work outs.  I love this DVD because it’s very low impact for my achy-breaky joints, yet incredibly effective.

Thirdly, before I put anything in my mouth I ask myself, “Is this going to help me or hurt me?” which doesn’t mean I can’t ever have anything tasty.  For example, having a delicious coffee with a friend?  Helping me.  But for the most part, it helps me to make healthy choices on a meal-by-meal basis.

I hope that answers any questions you might have!

Categories
Life in general Surviving

That Girl I Used to Be

I used to be someone else.

That Girl.

That Girl made terrible decisions.  She hurt people.  She did things I don’t even want to know about. 

One day, I chose to be someone else, someone new.  Someone as far removed from That Girl as possible.  I took all the mean and hurtful words anyone had ever said about her, and I hurled them at her, one by one, until she cowered in the corner of my mind.

Broken.  Scared.  Alone.

She is a stranger to me, as I am to her.  I say her name, That Girl, with my lip curled into a sneer.

For years, I’ve looked upon That Girl as someone to be ashamed of.  She was someone I didn’t want to be associated with, and I certainly didn’t want to know anyone she had called a friend.  People tried to claim they knew me, and I would nod, politely, because that’s what nice girls do.  

And then, as quickly as I could, I would disengage.  They knew That Girl, not me.  I had no desire to reminisce about That Girl and the things she did.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about her with guarded curiosity.  About the way she was, and the reasons she did the things she did.

I’ve always thought of myself as being unique, a square peg in a world of round holes.  But That Girl?  She was textbook .  As alone and different and scared as she felt, she was surviving  in the most basic of ways.

That Girl did things to our shared body.  She let other people do things to it, too, things I can recall as if I read them in a tattered book once, long ago.

That book makes me cry, every time.  It is too well written, too detailed for my taste.

There are times I feel traces of her in my consciousness and I beat her down, like a schoolyard bully.  

So much time has passed.  Why won’t she just curl up in her corner and die?

This person I have been for… what, 17 years now?  Believes that the more good I do, the straighter the path I walk, the more vanilla a life I lead, I will make up for That Girl’s misdeeds.  I will right her wrongs, and maybe, one day, I will have a clean slate.

But then I wonder. 

Doesn’t she deserve a clean slate, too?  She did things I’d rather forget, yes, but she was also daring and funny and she didn’t give a shit about what any other person on this planet thought of her.  She was carefree and full of passion, living every single day of her life to the fullest with no thought about tomorrow, or next week, never wondering who she would be ten, twenty, thirty years down the road. 

People gravitated toward her, loving or hating her, nothing in between, but she was alive.  Oh my god, she was ALIVE in a way I have never allowed myself to experience.

Lately, I wonder what would happen if I were to make peace with that girl cowering in the corner of my mind, my heart.  Dust her off, give her a long overdue hug, and tell her I forgive her.

Let her become a part of me.  Of us.

I forgive her.

That Girl is a part of me.

Finally, I forgive me.

Categories
Entertainment

Unbelievable

Over the weekend, I read this book Back Roads  by Tawni O’Dell.

It was pretty good – well written and engaging.  But there was a part of the book that was completely unbelievable.  I mean, it’s fiction, right?  But it’s supposed to be believable. 

The guy is 19 turning 20, and he’s got custody of his three sisters and life pretty much sucks.  He’s working two jobs, he’s never been laid, and his mom is in prison for killing his dad.

He finally gets himself some, from an older woman, and that boy is hooked.

Things start getting pretty crazy (you’ll get no spoilers from me) and for whatever reason, he stops showering.  It’s June, and he won’t stop wearing his dad’s hunting jacket, and did I mention he works two jobs?  So he gets pretty rank, pretty fast.  He even mentions that when he touches his hair, his hand comes away so oily it’s slippery.  gak.

He gets so nasty, one of his bosses tells him not to show up without taking a shower.

Here’s what’s completely unbelievable: all that filth and oil and stink, and yet we’re supposed to believe that the older woman he’s involved with willingly and joyfully gets down between his legs and gives him head.

Oh, HELL NO she didn’t go there.

If it was a teenage girl, I might be more inclined to believe it, but not an experienced older woman. 

Eight hour shower rule, am I right?  Cause that’s just all kinds of nasty.

Categories
Health and Nutrition

Mayday, MAYDAY!

I don’t fit in my pants.  Or my shirts.  Or my dresses.  Even my under.wear is starting to get uncomfortable.

The complete, honest truth?  I’ve been wearing a lot of my old maternity clothes.  And since my “baby” is about to turn three, there is a whole lot wrong with that.

In the past 9 months, I’ve gained a little over 20 pounds.  My body fat has gone up by 13%.

I’d like to blame it all on the Lexapro, which is known to cause “moderate weight gain” but all those grilled cheese sandwiches, all that pad thai, all those burritos and oh my goodness the wine, cheese and chocolate, plus the fact that I’ve rarely exercised – those factors kind of blow that theory out of the water.  Or at least give it a whole lot less credibility.

Last weekend, I ran from the car to the house to grab a couple of juice boxes for the kids, and something happened.  My belly flab went rogue.  I don’t even know how to describe how that felt, except to say that it was a wake up call.

I’ve watched the numbers on the scale creep upward.  I’ve noticed my clothes don’t fit as well. 

But then I think, it’s only a few pounds, right?  My husband is actually loving the fact that I have an ass to grab.  And also?  Who really complains about being a size FIVE, honestly, there is nothing at all wrong with that.  There are plenty of women out there who would gladly give up a few toes to be that size.

Except.  I may be well within the “normal” weight range for my height, but I don’t feel good.  I don’t feel healthy.  I’m exhausted and cranky all the time, and I’m not nourishing my body. 

So, I’ve decided that May is going to be my month to get back on track.  Not to necessarily “lose weight” but to get healthy.

I’m not going to follow any kind of crazy diet or exercise regimen – I’ve tried all kinds of things over the past 9 months that only seem to exasperate the problem, and in truth, make me feel like shit.

I’m setting some very general goals:

*  My diet will consist mainly of fruits, vegetables and lean proteins with a few whole grains thrown in for good measure.

*  I will exercise in some way for a minimum of 15 minutes every day.

*  I will drink at least 64 ounces of water every day.

*  I will take a photo of myself from the front and the side at least once a week.

*  I will weigh myself no more than once a week – no obsessive scale-watching.

*  I will drink wine only one night a week, if at all.

My hope is to lose at least 3% of my body fat in the month of May.  A lofty goal, but attainable.  I plan to update my progress here once a week, just to hold myself accountable.  I just ended two sentences in a row with -able.  Now go eat a vegetable.  Whee!  This is fun.  I’m really just trying to postpone the inevitable.

The before photos.  Ready?  I am totally cheating by posting them in black and white.  Everything looks better in black and white!  Right?  Here I am in my too-small pants.

   

Bleah. 

Now I’m off to kick some ass, and it’s not even MAY yet!